CONTENTS
- JUST VISITING
- FEATURE ARTICLE
Parenting: Mission Impossible?by Norman and Ann Bales
- GUEST COLUMN:
"We Said Our Do's and We Said Our Don'ts"by Greg Cummings
- Perceptions -"Taking Advantage of Every Opportunity"
by Dennis Randall
Just Visiting
When they work right, computers are wonderful. I've heard it said that a computer is worth half a secretary. I really don't believe that. They'll never come close to replacing Mary Beth and Susan the two wonderful secretaries who keep us from going crazy. When they don't do what they're supposed to do, computers are terrible. Earlier this week, we went to our web site and got the dreaded message, "not available on this server." We started wondering if we had paid the domain bill (we had) or if some virus of Satanic origin had destroyed our entire website. We were greatly relieved when we got it back a few hours later, minus last week's data. The rest of it was intact and everything has now been brought up to date. If you tried to visit our website but thought we went away, try again.
It has been said that raising children is the most difficult human task. Whether that's true or not, it is a great challenge, but it's not a mission impossible. That's the thought of this week's feature article.
We are happy to introduce you to a guest columnist, Greg Cummings. Greg is a minister who lives in Kerrville, Texas. He suggests that our choice is not between a bitter divorce and an unhappy marriage. Greg thinks we need to work on building good marriages. As we read his thoughtful comments, we remember a time when our own marriage was in trouble. We made the commitment to stay together come what may. Once we made that commitment, we asked ourselves, "Do we want to live the rest of our lives in absolute misery or do we want to make it work." We chose to make it work. I'm glad we chose that option. Be sure to read Greg's column. It will make you think.
Norman and Ann
Parenting:
Mission Impossible?
INTRODUCTION
Spiritual Resources. Contrary to popular belief, God has not retired from active involvement with the human race. If He seems inaccessible, it's because we have not chosen to take advantage of the blessings he offers. "Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear" (Isaiah 59:1). We have the Bible and prayer. As Christians we possess "power through His Spirit" in our inner being (Ephesians 3:16). These resources are available for all our tasks, including the business of being parents.
Life Resources. Our children learn from what they see. It is impossible to overestimate the power of a Godly example. As parents grow in their relationship to God, in maturity, in overcoming their self-absorption, they are developing the qualities their children need. No influence is more powerful than example.
Life Experiences. We have some friends who are amazed at how successful they were in communicating their values to their children. They didn't consciously develop parental skills and they didn't artificially create learning experiences. They just did a lot of things with their children and shared their faith in the process. In effect, they spent time with their children and took advantage of teachable moments.
Guest Column
by Greg Cummings
We'd like to think Mr. Abraham refused to grant the divorce because of his deep love for his wife
or due to respect for the institution of marriage, but somehow I doubt it. I suspect Mr. and Mrs.
Abraham hated each other. It happens more than you think. People have enough religion to keep them
from divorcing but not enough to cause them to act like good marriage partners.
The final granting of the divorce decree is not what destroys a marriage. Marriages are ruined by
all the garbage that collects between "I do" and "I don't anymore." Refusing to file for divorce
does not keep a marriage holy in God's sight and staying married even though you can't stand each
other misses the point. God's goal is good marriage. Religious pretension may keep us in a marriage
that has gone to pot, but our Christianity ought to make us improve it. It is in our best interest.
Divorce is forgiven like any other sin, but its effects are much more devastating than most. While
the same grace that erases other sins erases the sin of divorce, it does not erase the pain or
consequences.
I heard about a couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. When the festivities were over,
the woman turned to her husband and said, "We've been miserable for 50 years. We've fought every
day. We've disagreed on nearly everything, and I am convinced that we can't keep going like this.
I have made a commitment to pray that God will solve this problem by calling one of us home." She
went on to add, "And when he answers my prayer, I'm moving to Grand Rapids to live with my sister."
Bashing divorced people is not my goal. Dissuading married couples from ever considering divorce
is. And our best chance for avoiding divorce is avoiding the trash that causes it.
by Dennis Randall
Dennis Randall is a wonderful man, whom we are privileged to call "friend." He serves as pulpit
minister for the Airline Drive Church of Christ in Bossier City, Louisiana. Dennis is the kind
of fellow who always looks for a way to put in a good word for the Lord. He recently wrote about
a unique opportunity. You can read his thoughts
If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is
mikal@allaboutfamilies.org
Norman's e-mail address:
nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org
WE SAID OUR "DO'S" AND WE SAID OUR "DON'TS"
cummings@ktc.com
A newspaper article told of an Israeli man who died in jail after refusing for decades to say
three simple words necessary to divorce his wife. Those words were, "I am willing." The man,
Mr. Abraham, died at age 81 after having been separated from his wife for 42 years. In 1950,
the Rabbis granted a divorce to Ora, his wife, but for it to become valid the law required Mr.
Abraham to say, "l am willing." When he refused, he was put in prison. That was decades ago!
There he remained jailed, maintaining his vow to keep his estranged wife married to him until
the end. Over a year before his death it was recognized that he had become senile and incapable
of uttering the three magic words. Still, he remained jailed because, as his wife said, "No one
would dare take him out of prison without my agreement." She never went to visit him and when she
was informed of his death she said, "That's it. It's over." Ironically, since they were still
legally married at the time of his death, she was obligated to observe seven days of mourning!PERCEPTIONS
"Taking Advantage of Every Opportunity"
airline@shreve.net