Today's feature article deals with the needs of families during times of crisis. Families face crisis situations every day. Just before we wrote these words, we received a phone informing us of a loss in the family of one of our co-workers. Their grief is no less acute than the grief of those whose lives were snuffed out in the tragedies of September 11. In this case, the family understood that death was eminent for several days. Even so their loss is a loss, a separation that's difficult to handle.

The recent events have such a huge impact because (1) they were not anticipated (2) the extreme cruelty of the act and (3) the huge numbers of families who were affected. This week we decided to focus on the way families respond to crises in general. However, it is very obvious that recent events weigh heavily on our mind.

Our own family responded in various ways. Our places of residence are widely separated. Our youngest son, Gary, sent us his reactions. We have his permission to publish them in this week's newsletter. His thoughts follow our feature article.

We will also hear from our good friend and mentor, Monroe Hawley of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. We have enormous respect for Monroe and his good wife, Julia. When he weighs in on a subject we listen. We thought you would appreciate his perspective on the same subject. It's our Perceptions feature for this week.

Norman and Ann

The events of September 11 drastically altered family dynamics and changed family plans for everyone. We can't get our minds around the enormous grief that overwhelms the thousands of families who lost loved ones. For some reason it reminds us of the time when Herod massacred all the infants in Bethlehem under the age of two. Matthew exposed the king's cruelty in the words of the prophet Jeremiah.P A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great -mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more. - Matthew 2:18

Many, perhaps most of us, don't know any of the grieving families, but all families are affected. As the poet John Donne once said, "no man is an island." Our lives are seriously challenged by the knowledge that there are people living on this planet who have such low regard for their own lives and the lives of others. We are also uneasy because we don't know how many others there are like them and where they may strike next. No prophet will appear on the horizon to tell us what will happen next. So what do families need when they must learn how to manage their lives with a different set of assumptions?

We can think of a number of things.

1. Basic survival needs - food, shelter, clothing, etc.
   
2. A safe environment.
   
3. Protection from those who intend harm.
   
4. Fellow burden-bearers.
   
5. Caring family relationships.
   
6. An opportunity to improve society.
   
7. Loving relationships outside the family.
   
8. Appreciation for God's creation.
   
9. Hope for the future.

Maybe our list isn't exhaustive, but it's enough to get us started thinking about it. From the Christian perspective, each of these can be provided in a legitimate manner, but none of them can be adequately met without an intimate relationship with God. Jesus' challenge should mean more to us than it has ever meant. "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33). That's what families need.

Good Morning to you Dad
It's good to see you are both back safely. I wanted to share some of my feelings on the way a lot of folks I think should focus on dealing with their grief in regards to the events of September 11, 2001. I think it is a wake up call, but not just for the defense of freedom. I think that these events are teaching us that it is time to refocus our lives and our goals. I have seen a large number of people starting to enjoy and experience more of the essence of life. They are spending more time with their children. They are rededicating themselves to God. It is somewhat sad that it takes a tragedy of these proportions to wake so many but, in the same voice it is inspiring. We, as a younger generation, are re-discovering the certain terms or phrases we only knew in history books. We are again living in uncertain times. We are learning to sacrifice certain freedoms for the greater good of our country. We spoke recently on the phone of being able to give our children and grandchildren the chance to grow up in the same United States of America that we were able to. I do not want to down play that a horrific thing has happened to our country. Not since the 1700's have our enemies been among us in such a fashion. A time has come that you and mom have seen before. A time where young men and women go off to fight a battle on foreign soil in defense of our nation. I have never seen the face of war. I have met some of the men whom have fought the wars of our country in the past. Those men taught me that they would all rather go through what they went through twice to keep their children from it. Too often we of the younger generation forget the millions of lives lost and mangled to give us the freedoms we have today. We have reached a point we should have been at years ago. We must now rededicate ourselves to God, Our Families, Our neighbors and Our Nation. Just wanted to share some feelings that may or may not help. Love, Gary