Our friends were adjusting themselves to an ice storm. A thick layer of ice on the power lines temporarily shut down their electricity. They could not watch television, listen to music, or hear the news on the radio. As nightfall approached, they lit candles, but realized that it was too dark to read. The husband turned to his wife and said, "Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. We've got to get reacquainted." It shouldn't take a power outage to bring us to an awareness of how much we need each other, but strangely enough our lives sometimes have to be interrupted before we become aware of our fundamental need for lasting, caring, committed relationships.

On the way to work this morning, the all-news station suddenly switched to a New York based reporter. She didn't talk about the tight security around Yankee Stadium when President Bush attended the World Series. She didn't give us another story about New York's firefighters and police. She talked about marriage. Since September 11, there has been an increase in the number of people getting married. Even though the economy seems to be sliding backwards, the sale of engagement and wedding rings is on the rise. She mentioned a Greenwich, Connecticut divorce lawyer who hasn't had a new client wanting to file for divorce since September 11. There are some blessings that come from the September 11 tragedy. One of those blessings is a deeper realization that God knew what he was doing when he said, "It is not good for man to be alone." We hope you'll read our thoughts about loneliness in this week's newsletter. Perhaps it will encourage you to take positive steps to strengthen relationships in your family.

Norman and Ann

If you admit to remembering Lula Belle and Scotty, you're telling two things about yourself. You like traditional country music and you've got more years behind you than you have ahead of you. One of their most popular songs was "Have You Ever Been Lonely?" Like many songs from the country music genre, it's appeal lay more in its lyrical content than its musical quality. It deals with the universal issue of the heart. It connects with listeners because so many of them experience the pain of human loneliness.

Loneliness has been described as "the most devastating disease of our time." In her book, Lonely in America, Suzanne Gordon said that loneliness is " . . . an almost permanent condition for millions of Americans . . .knows no limits of class, race or age."

Loneliness is not unique to our own time. At the dawn of time, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." The 142nd Psalm describes a particularly devastating time in the life of King David. "Look to my right and see. None is concerned for me. I have no refuge. No one cares for my life." Daniel, the prophet, described a period in his life. He said, "I had no strength left; my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless" (Daniel 10:8).

Loneliness is a feeling that you've lost significant contact with other people. Loneliness usually comes calling with a trio of other unwelcome visitors - discouragement, restlessness and anxiety. God created the institution of marriage as a hedge against loneliness. Knowing that it was not good for man to live alone, he created woman. We normally marry because we feel we are incomplete without a spouse. In the early days of marriage, we try to mutually satisfy each other's needs for companionship. Unfortunately as the months pass into years, we drift into patterns of alienation. When that happens two lonely people end up living in the same house with nothing in common but a roof over their heads.

If you're a lonely person living under the same roof with your spouse, take time to initiate an end to loneliness. Ask questions. Listen. Laugh together. Take a genuine interest in your spouse's work, friends and recreation. Share ideas. Make yourself vulnerable. Initiate the dialogue by saying something like, "a penny for your thoughts." Our guess is that you won't even have to spend the penny. A whole new world of companionship is available to you, but someone has to take the first step.