When we talk about preserving the Christian family, we are not necessarily talking about the traditional family. When people talk about the traditional family, they often define it by the television sitcoms of the fifties like "Ozzie and Harriet" and "Leave it to Beaver." Those were good shows, but they were not presented as a model of the Christian family. They reflected the values of the times. They weren't even "traditional families" in one sense of the term. Ward Cleaver went off to work everyday. We never knew exactly what he did in the work place. Judging from the fact that he always wore a coat and tie, one would assume that he worked in an office somewhere. That family model is only about a hundred years old. During most of the history of the world, people made their living in some kind of agricultural pursuit and the entire family was involved in working together. That's the traditional family. But the Biblical family is defined even more sharply in the scriptures.

• In the first place, Christ is the head of the Christian home. Norman doesn't remember his home as an art center. His family didn't display the works of Claude Monet or Picasso, but an important slogan was framed and prominently displayed. It read, "Christ is the head of this home." This plaque is now prominent in our own home. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 11:3 "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." It's not popular to say it, but there's an authority chain in the home. In Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior." Those verses don't give men a license to walk over women, but they do establish the need for authority in the home. A home cannot operate successfully without it. The passage goes on to say, " . . . in this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. " (5:28-29). They didn't talk about any of that in "Ozzie and Harriet" and "Leave It To Beaver." But we're defining the Christian home, not the traditional home.

• In the second place, the Christian home has married people in it. Such a statement is not intended to imply the thesis that unmarried people are second-class citizens. The man who wrote about husbands and wives in Ephesians 5 was unmarried. In 1 Corinthians 7:8 he said, "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am." It's all right to be unmarried, but when God designed the family, he initiated the marriage contract as the binding agreement that forms a family. Genesis 2:24 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

• In Christian families, children honor their parents, parents love and instruct their children. In Ephesians 6:1-4, Paul wrote, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" -- which is the first commandment with a promise -- 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

That's the basic structure of the Christian family. Next, we'll discuss what that means to society.

If they are 60, I talk about 80 years from now. If they are 40, I talk about 100 years from now. That is, when I am talking with a Christian and they are struggling with a right or wrong issue or a wise versus a foolish issue, I ask them to imagine they are100 years into the future, in heaven. Then I ask them, "When you are in heaven, many years into the future, what will that much wiser, all-knowing person look back and tell you about this specific time in your life?" I have yet to be told a hurtful and destructive answer.

Jim and I were at the ACU lectures several years ago and we attended a youth and family portion of the lectureship. It was at this workshop that I learned the word, "eschatology." Eschatology means a study of the end times. My dictionary says, "the ultimate of last things, such as death, judgment, heaven, and hell." The presenters at this workshop told us that fathers who had an eschatological view did a better job of transmitting their spiritual faith to their children.

Paul said in Ephesians1:18,19, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." If we could each, individually and with our families, focus on the end times, that "glorious inheritance," our times with our families would be richer and so much of what distresses us would pale in comparison. So what difference can a focus on the end times, that glorious inheritance, make in a family?

1. The presenters at that ACU Lectureship told us it would help us transmit our spiritual values to our children.
   
2. Materialism would no longer rule.
   
3. The pursuit of pleasure would not lead us to foolish choices.
   
4. Emotional abuse between a husband and wife would be inconsequential.
   
5. "What's fair" would no longer destroy our pleasure.
   
6. No pasture would look greener, because only the last pasture would matter.
   
7. Agape would be the order of the day for that irritating brother.
   
8. Teaching my children obedience would be the second most important thing I teach after a love for the Lord.
   
9. My family would not be organized around a financial budget tearing at the seams.
   
10. The new family life center at church would not be an issue that divides.
    
11. I will remind myself that Paul said all things here are but "dung." (Philippians 3:8)
    
12. Who spends Christmas where is not an issue, but just encouraging one another anytime would matter.
    
13. Making the soccer team will not be a consideration in 140 years.
    
14. After taking responsible care for His glory, not bin Laden nor spores of anthrax would make me lose sleep.
    
15. Forgiveness would come automatically.
    
16. Leaving a family to build a career would be unheard of.
    
17. Moms would smile over a glass of spilled milk.
    
18. Dads would learn and then teach peace and joy to their children in all circumstances.
    
19. The battle really would be, "You first," "No,you first."
    
20. We would not tear one another down in any way, but only learn the art of encouragement "so much the more as we see the day approaching."

Seeking his presence would become our ultimate goal. This is how David Lewis, et al., put it in their book Dying to Tell: "If God created us, loves us, and is preparing a home for us, this world ceases to be ultimate, and some sense can be made of human suffering. In Paul's terms, the eternal weight of glory reduces our present suffering to something of minor importance. Or, as Teresa of Avila once said colorfully, once we experience heaven, the worst of our earthly sufferings will seem like one short night in a bad hotel."

by James Bailey

If you haven't been sorely disappointed in life, you probably haven't lived long enough. So many times life doesn't turn out the way we hoped that it would. It starts in our early years when our childhood friends reject us. In adolescence you experience disappointment when the young lady you invited to go out with you gives you the cold shoulder. Or if you're a young lady, you wonder why "Mr. Right" never calls. Later you experience disappointment when you can't get the job you want, can't get the promotion you want or get caught in corporate downsizing. Life is full of things that don't seem to come out right. How do you handle those experiences? You'll appreciate James Bailey's humorous story that introduces his article. You might think, "Well, I've been there, done that and got the T shirt." You can read it