Last year we attended a reunion for members of Ann's family. We spent a lot of time going through old photographs. Trying to identify relatives, who were in the prime of life at the turn of the twentieth century when the pictures were taken, proved to be quite a challenge. Through the collective efforts of the group most people were identified. More often than not someone told a story about a person in the picture. Sometimes the story was less than flattering. For the most part Norman was an observer. He has only been in the family for the last forty-two years. It seems like the good stories all took place prior to his entry into the family. As an observer Norman noticed a couple of things. People were anxious to see the pictures and listen to the stories. They sent Norman to Kinko's to have some of the old pictures copied.

It was a powerful experience. In our day and time, families often scatter with the four winds. This uprootedness removes from their family stories and family identity becomes blurred. But we seem to have a desire to want to know where we came from and we want to know more about the people who molded our lives. We even noticed younger members of the family expressing an incredible interest in their family roots.

Memorial Day represents a time when we all have an opportunity to dig a little deeper into our story. This newsletter goes out to an international audience and we know that many countries don't celebrate this special memory time on the last Monday in May. However, many cultures do have some way of recognizing their family roots. We think it can be a healthy family experience and we invite you to read our thoughts on "The Power of Remembering."

As promised, we gladly welcome Mikal back to our pages. Now that she has a son-in-law for the first time, perhaps she can enlighten us on certain family dynamics that we may have overlooked in previous writings. Glad to have you back, Mikal. We missed you.

Norman and Ann

This article is intended only for the brave of heart. Only the brave of heart can examine themselves and that is what parenting requires. It requires that we examine ourselves over and over and make adjustments where they need to be made.

As I pondered this topic, it occurred to me that there are three areas in which parents must be willing to examine themselves with extreme honesty. The findings in these three areas can give you some idea to the kind of job you are doing as a parent.

The first is "Do I enjoy my children?" As Christians we are meant to have a life of love, joy, and peace (Galatians 5:22). This is also true when it comes to parenting and our relationships with our children. So, the Christian parent must ask "Do I love my children? Do I find joy in my children? And is it a relationship of peace?" It is my conviction that parenting is meant to be a task of love, joy and peace. If not, why not? Some adjustments need to be made if the answers to these questions are not affirmative.

The second area to be considered is, "Do other people enjoy my children?" Perhaps the best way to know if you are doing a good job as a parent is to ask yourself the question "Do other people enjoy my children?" If you can honestly determine that other people enjoy your children, then the cards are stacked in your favor and it is highly likely that you are doing a good job in parenting. If other people do not like and enjoy your children, then something is not working well for your children and you as the parent are responsible for finding out the problem.

These first two areas to consider are extremely crucial to your child's self-esteem. How others respond to your child strongly affects how he feels about himself.

The third area to be considered is your level of denial about this issue. I was discussing this issue with a friend the other day. I made my comment that parents need to enjoy their children and other people need to enjoy these same children, and this can give the parent an idea of the parenting job they are doing. My friend said, "Yes, but some parents don't recognize that other people are not enjoying their children." We both recognized cases where this seemed to be the situation. It seems that parents are frequently oblivious to their children's behavior and/or the effect that behavior has on other people.

From my experience it seems that these behaviors that seem to affect others most negatively are behaviors which indicate no understanding of boundaries and often invade the boundaries of others. In my next article I will discuss these behaviors specifically to help those interested to identify such behaviors.

Our house is never finished. Ann regularly comes up with new ideas for furniture location, paint schemes, rugs and other improvements that make our home a pleasant place to enjoy. After reading Bill Denton's article on interior decorating, we realized that's a person's life is never fully developed while we live in the flesh. We think you'll appreciate Bill's thoughts