We have now published these newsletters for more than a half dozen years. For the last five years, we've concentrated our energy in the direction of family ministry. During that period of time, we've encountered many parents who seem to be looking for some kind of magic formula for raising children. We've addressed the subject numerous times. Mikal addresses it constantly and we hope some of our suggestions have been helpful.

It seems to us that most parents overlook one of their most powerful resources - their own marriage. It's impossible to overstate the influence that a stable marriage has on children during their formative years. This week's feature article concentrates on the powerful impact of a stable marriage.

We don't normally use these pages for prayer requests. Our newsletter exists to help families. There's a great ministry in shared prayer requests, but that's not the focus of our newsletter. However, several years ago I asked you to pray for a Ralph Payne, a friend who was undergoing a liver transplant. If you go back into our archives, you can read about that time in Ralph's life. The transplant was successful and Ralph went on with his life. At a later time cancer attacked his body. Ralph lost the fight with cancer last week. To the end he was a fighter and a remarkable man of faith. We will miss his presence in this life, but rejoice in knowing that he has been granted eternal inheritance. I have an additional request to make. Please pray for his wife Donna and their three daughters, Ashley, Catherine and Laura.

Norman and Ann

Every time we talk with our children, we are reminded of the great blessing they bring to our lives. None of them are perfect, but that's to be expected since when you consider the fact that they sprang from imperfect parents. We ardently believe the premise that children have a better change for productive lives when their moms and dads work on building quality marriages.

For several years public opinion molders have fought a relentless battle over single parenting. In, Why Marriage Matters, Glen T. Stanton reviews an enormous amount of statistical data confirming the thesis that children do better economically, physically, socially, intellectually and emotionally in two-parent families. Stanton concludes, "Children raised in alternative family structures start out life with distinct disadvantage."

True enough, but just growing up in a two-parent family does not guarantee a child's future well being. Mom and Dad need to do more than park their cars in the same garage. That means paying the price of self-denial, spending time together, sharing interests, encouraging each other and a mutual commitment to Christ-like service.

Here are some of the positive things that can take place in the lives of your children if you work at developing a quality marriage.

• Security.
  
• Loyalty.
  
• Acceptance.
  
• Understanding.
  
• Moral standards.
  
• Self-respect.
  
• Devotion to God.

The list could be much longer, but we're out of space. Make your marriage the best it can be. Your kids deserve it.

When Saul was on the road to Damascus, Jesus appeared to him while he was still persecuting Christians. Jesus said, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads." (Acts 26:14) In the first century, oxen were used to till the soil. In order to better manage the ox the farmer would position a wooden shaft in such a manner that, when necessary, he would use to exert pressure on the ox, to press the end of the shaft into the flesh of the ox. Sometimes the ox would kick out at the goad or prick and when that happened the goad would be pressed deeper into the animal's flesh as a result of his rebellion.

Everyday I work with people who are kicking against the goads. We all find ourselves in this position from time to time. And it is with the same results. When we rebel against God's will in our lives we are kicking against the goads.

Jeremiah says, "It is not within man who walks to direct his own steps." Yet, everyday people are choosing their own direction without consideration of what God would have them do. Sometimes they consider what God would have them do, but knowingly go against his will in order to serve themselves. This will always bring destruction and regret. We will suffer just as the ox suffered as the goad was pressed deeper into his flesh because of his rebellion.

Every command of God has to do with our relationship with him or our relationship with others. When we do not follow his direction in how we manage our relationships with one another and with him we are kicking against the goads and we will reap what we sow.

I work with teenagers who want so desperately to make their own decisions. They believe they have all the answers and can choose their own direction. One cartoon I have seen says, "Teenager, get out and be on your own while you still have all the answers." Most of us recognize such a choice for the teenager will only reap destruction. There are many other decisions a teenager can make that will backfire on him/her when choices are made outside of the Lord's will. This will nearly always be the result.

A husband or wife who is choosing to end a marriage is kicking against the goads. Such a decision will nearly always cause more pain. We are kicking against the goads when we fail to forgive as God would have us forgive. We are kicking against the goads when we do not put another's needs above our own in a healthy manner. We are kicking against the goads when we do not train up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We will reap great grief.

"Kicking against the goads" was a phrase used in the first century to describe the results of a rebellious spirit. The phrase still rings true today. We will reap great grief when we do not manage our relationships with one another or with the Lord in the way he has taught.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is for us humans to make distinctions that perhaps God does not make? One that comes to mind is the distinctions we make between what is "spiritual" and what is "unspiritual." You can read more of James' thoughts