Frequent visitors to our website are familiar with the message board, which allows readers to post messages. The company that provided the service for the message board has ceased operations. At this point it is no longer possible to post or read communications on the message board. We are in the process of searching for another company to provide this service.

Ann and Norman have been on vacation two weeks and then Ann spent two more weeks away from home helping to take of her sister who had shoulder surgery. Many of you sent emails to subscribe to the newsletter and they didn't get into our address file. On the other side of the coin some of you requested that we remove you from our list. If you are one of those people and you receive the newsletter today, please forgive us. It has been taken care and you will not receive it again. We appreciate your understanding and your patience.

Norman and Ann

Her children were sharing memories of their mother as they visited with friends who came to pay their respects at the funeral home. One of her daughters said, "I remember a time when she heard about a poor family whose children needed clothing. She collected clothes in the proper sizes, washed and ironed them, took them to the car and told us we had a job to do. We all got in the car and she drove us to poor section of town to deliver the clothes." In her grief her mom's compassion toward others gave her a previous family memory.

My teen years were spent on a farm. I remember my father telling me to drive the tractor to a neighboring farm and plow the man's field. When I got there, I found three or four other tractors already at work. Others arrived after me. My dad had gone to the other farmers in the area telling them that our friend was seriously ill and needed help in his crops. Eventually we had enough tractors to plow the entire field in one morning. As I recall the neighbors took care of his crop throughout the year. That made an enormous impression on me.

What does that have to do with families? Just this. Families help themselves when they help other families. In their book, The Intimate Marriage, Howard and Charlotte Clinebell wrote, "To be vital and growing a family unit needs to be invested in persons and causes outside itself."

As Christians, we are called upon to help those who are weak and needy. John said, "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him" (1 John 4:17).

We live in an era of self-centered indulgence. Many parents give their children everything they want and the children continue to want more. When their parents are gone they may not appreciate or even remember their parents' generosity. On the other hand, the kids who went with their mother to deliver clothes to a needy family will never forget it.

Recently I was looking up some material about stress. I wanted to see what I could find for the subject of family stress. I went to the Internet and plugged in "family stress" for a search. Up came 2,220,000 entries on the web. Just out of curiosity I plugged in simply "stress." Up came 8,550,000 entries. But then it is really not news to any of us that we are a stressed people. But Jesus said, "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me." (John 14:1) He further admonishes us in Matthew 6:25-34 that worry accomplishes nothing. We only need to trust in Him.

Just as individuals suffer from excessive stress, so do families. Too much stress can bring a family to a point of grave distress and total breakdown. Grave distress exhibits itself in such family crises as domestic violence, substance abuse (relapses) illness from weakened immune systems, divorce, accidents, abuse and neglect of children.

The Great Depression of 1929 was a time of extreme stress for our entire nation. Professor Reuben Hill studied the families who survived the depression and contrasted the surviving families with those families who did not survive. He found two very important variables, which seemed to make the difference. These variables seemed to be a buffer for the families, which protected them from the devastation that can be wrought by stress. He developed what he called his ABCX theory of family stress. A represents the family stressors, B his first support buffer, C his second support buffer and then X would be the level of family of crisis as a result of the stressors.

The B factor, which buffers the family, is social relationships. Hill found that intra-family relationships and inter-family relationships were important to create the B factor, which protects against stress. A family needs positive social connectedness within the family and outside the family. These connections support the family when the family experiences stress.

The C factor, which buffers the family against stress, is family perception. This has to do with how the family perceives the stress and understands its own strength. A shared family cognition that the family is resourceful and up to the challenge of difficulty was significant in determining the level of impact of the stressor.

Conversely if a family is socially isolated and out of touch with one another and if they do not see themselves as empowered and positive, then the family is at increased risk for a debilitating crisis.

As I studied these two factors, it occurred to me that God provides for both of these factors. Being a faithful member in the church provides for the social supports. Having a perspective of the cross and remembering the principles of Romans 8, assure us that nothing here can destroy us or take away what really matters.

None of us want difficulty. But as children of God we are equipped to face the bombardments of Satan. "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

Tim Byrd is a middle school science teacher. Recently he came across the following text. " For You have magnified Your word above Your name" - Psalm 138:2. Tim began thinking about the microscope he uses in his science lab and its application to that text. You can read his thoughts