It was quite surprising to me, as I read Norman's article and then Mikal's that it seems they are on the same wave-link. And since I get to write this column this week, I can say whatever I want and Norman can't do anything about it. First of all, one of Norman's greatest strengths is his ability to open up to others and share his feelings and shortcomings. Through the past 43 years he has made great strides and progressed to the point that I get roses instead of carnations and they are always yellow (you know, the Yellow Rose Of Texas). He has become a very tender and caring nurse. He now has a c-pap machine and he doesn't snore anymore. Whoa! I better stop or I will give away the theme of his article.

Take the time to read and re-read Mikal's article and then see if you can understand where I am coming from when I say they are on the same wave-length.

Ann

Ann has put up with me for almost 43 years. She has tolerated inattention, misunderstandings, carnations when she really wanted roses, absence from home when she really needed me, snoring, poor listening and a variety of other shortcomings, which she excuses as "a man thing."

Sometimes I wonder why she decided to stay with our relationship when I have so many shortcomings. I gained a significant insight into her thinking the other day when we listened to an Alan Jackson song while we were in the car. The song is titled, "A Work In Progress." She asked me if I had paid attention to the lyrics. At one point, Alan sings,

I forgot about our anniversary
But I did pick up the baby at the nursery.
Well that's a gold star for me.

Alan pleads for understanding on the ground that he's "a work in progress." I can certainly identify with his viewpoint.

Actually all husbands and wives are works in progress. We never live up to each other's expectations. If you've never committed a relationship blunder, you aren't real. All marriages are flawed, but some are healthy while others are sick. Healthy married partners recognized their faults, confess them and work on correcting them.

James deals with a significant relationship building tactic in James 5:16, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." Confessing may be the most difficult hurdle to overcome. But if we're willing to do that and if we'll pray for each other, God's word promises that healing will follow. That's the best way I know to make the transition from a failed marriage partner to "a work in progress."

I love to share this phrase with certain clients. I ran across this phrase or one very similar to it in the title of a book by Terry Cole-Whittaker. I cannot support all of her premise, but I do love the phrase, therefore, I share it.

A young man was sitting in my office just last week and he said, "I always wonder what other people are saying about me." I shared this phrase with him. This phrase is a wonderful piece of self-talk that can give us so much freedom if we really take it to heart.

A word of caution is called for here. To act on this thought does not mean that we just go and do whatever we want to do and do not worry about anyone else. No, quite the contrary. But, if we consider that what we are choosing to do is the right thing, then we do not need to worry about what other people think of us. We do not need to be shackled by the concern of what other people might be thinking of us.

The other day Jim and I were in a conversation with a gentleman whose wife is principal of an elementary school. All over the school she has posted a set of rules. There are three of them. The rules are: 1) Do the right thing. 2) Do your best. 3)Treat others the way you want to be treated. This wise principal is teaching her students to make the right choice. When we do this we do not have to worry about what people are going to think.

When people think negatively about our behavior or intentions when we are choosing the right thing, then their negative thoughts tell more about themselves than they do our choices. They are revealing themselves. Our judgments about other people reveal how we really feel about ourselves.

In Galatians 1:10, Paul says, "For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ."

What we tell ourselves does matter. But when this thought about what other people are going to think crosses your mind, defeat it with scripture and choosing to do the right thing. Then, truly, what other people think about us is none of our business. Wow!! Does that bring some freedom?

Serious Bible students remember Adolf von Harnack as a great theologian and that he was. Few remember his son, Ernest von Harnack. He was a German civil servant who was sentenced to death for his implication in the plot to kill Hitler. Those who remember the reign of Hitler, the feared SS troops, concentration camps, etc. might think of Saddam Hussein as rather tame compared to Hitler. Many considered him insane in his last years and such well may have been the case prior to his suicide

Ernest von Harnack died with the sound of a church hymn being heard even as he died. The hymn was "The Royal Banner Forward Go." You can read more