This week's newsletter is apparently two days late. We send it out every other Wednesday, but instead of sending out the newsletter I came home from the hospital where for four days the doctors ran all kinds of tests to make sure I hadn't experienced a heart attack. The tests showed I did not have a heart attack. Instead they told me I was healthy and the doctors' concurred that the problem was an esophageal spasm, which elicits the same symptoms. I am thankful to be home and slowly regaining my strength. We will try to get back on schedule in two weeks.

Mikal's article and Jim's perceptions article are so closely related you would think they had worked on them together. They didn't but you will benefit from both of them.

Ann

In our last issue, we tried to imagine what it would be like to start over as parents. What would our priorities be? Would we change our parenting styles? Would the life outcomes of our children be different? Of course those last two questions are unanswerable, but in the process of going through this mental exercise we came up with a list of specific priorities of parenting. We thought they were worth sharing. They include:

• SPIRITUAL LEADERSHIP

  Spirituality involves that dimension of our lives that we retain after life on earth is done. Since that is the most important dimension of our lives as parents we need to lead the way in setting the spiritual tone for thee family. In 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12, Paul said, " For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. " Paul assumes that Christian fathers encourage, comfort and urge their children to live lives worthy of God. It's a given.

• COMMITMENT.

  If we were starting over we would make it a regular practice to review the level of our own commitment. And we would not only do that for our children's benefit; we would also do it for ourselves. Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you -- unless, of course, you fail the test? The children you bring into the world need to see an example. They need a role model. We were somewhat disappointed with former NBA star, Charles Barkley several years ago, when he said that it wasn't his job to be a role model for American youth. We thought and still think that a man, who is admired up to by the youth of America because of athletic ability, owes something back to the public that put him where he is. A part of that includes being the kind of person that other young people can look up to. Actually when you compare "Sir Charles" to some of today's pampered superstars, he looks like a knight in shinning armor. Later we learned that we had only heard a television sound bite from the Barkley interview. When he disclaimed the need to be a role model for children, he also said, "Parents should be the most significant role model for their children." On that score, he was absolutely correct If we were starting out as parents today, we would heed his advice and choose to be more conscious about the effect the life style choices we make might have on our children.

• A GOOD MARRIAGE

  When Carl Brecheen and Paul Faulkner started conducting marriage seminars around the country in the seventies, they deliberately decided that they would not make parenting issues a major topic of concern in those programs. They said, "The best thing you can do for your children is to have a good marriage." So they focused on marriage enrichment. It's no secret that many children stray from their raising and there are many reasons that happens. Sometimes it may be a negative reaction to parental hypocrisy. At other times the parents may have been either too strict or too lax in their discipline, but no one strays off in a negative pattern and no one turns away from God because of their parents healthy relationship. We've never heard of anyone who felt they were cheated because their parents get along so well with each other that the children had no place in the family. We never heard of it because it doesn't happen.

• A SENSE OF HISTORY

  Perhaps you're wondering what that has to do with anything. History is a boring subject. Once a doctoral student at a major university told us he thought schools ought to abandon the teaching of history. He considered it an irrelevant subject. He thought schools could save all kinds of money by eliminating history from the curriculum.

  We respectfully disagree. It is impossible to establish a spirit of identity, a sense of rootedness, a foundation upon which to build a life if you don't give a child a sense of history. And that's not just some kind of flaky theory we picked up from pop psychology. It's right out of the Word of God. In Exodus 12, the Lord laid out Passover requirements. He said in verse 24, "Obey these instructions as a lasting ordinance for you and your descendants." But there is more. In verses 26 and 27, he said, "And when your children ask you, `What does this ceremony mean to you?' then tell them, It is the Passover sacrifice to the LORD, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians."

In Exodus 13, God gave instructions about what the children of Israel were to do after they crossed the Jordan River into the promised land. In verse 14, he said, "In days to come, when your son asks you, `What does this mean?' say to him, `With a mighty hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery." In Deuteronomy 4:9, after a recital of the law, the children of Israel were given the following exhortation, "Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." The prophet, Joel, spoke of great things that God has done. In Joel 1:2-3, he said, "Hear this, you elders; listen, all who live in the land. Has anything like this ever happened in your days or in the days of your forefathers? Tell it to your children and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation."

We have some other specifics we'd like to share, but they will have to wait until our next issue.

Our friend Jim Brasher preaches for the church in Vivian, Louisiana. He is one person who practices what Mikal discussed in her article. Jim is one of the most positive-minded people we know and this week's perception shows vividly this nature when he talks about "looking at the birds." "When you begin to feel "down" and anxious about the future, "look at the birds." You may read the rest of Jim's thoughts