Just Visiting
We missed August. We're not sure you missed us judging from the lack of complaints. Anyway, we're back again. We have lots of excuses for missing August - travel, preparation for a workshop, presenting the workshop and even some health problems. But we're back now and we hope to stay on schedule for the remainder of the year. We won't try to make up August. We'll just pretend it didn't happen.
We think we're offering you two significant essays for this month. The first is by Jim Bales, who happens to be our son. Jim works as a children's minister in Charlotte, North Carolina. Sometime ago we asked him to head up a department of AAF that concerns itself with issues regarding children. Jim hasn't contributed for a while, but this one was worth the wait. It deals with the music our children hear. For a long time others have raised voices of concern about the music our teenagers hear. Jim takes it down lower than that. If you are a parent of middle school children, it will be most important for you to read his message.
Mikal addresses the subject of broken relationships. The pain felt in a broken relationship may even surpass the pain felt in many physical ailments. Mikal underscore the importance of relationships, the grief caused when they are broken and offers hope for healing.
Norman and Ann
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"The Sound Of Music"
by Jim Bales
Young people have come a long way from "doe, a deer, a female deer." I just returned from a mission trip with several of our middle school kids and have some insights that I feel compelled to share. (Don't worry, kids, I won't name names!) I'm stepping up onto my soapbox to preach for a minute. Please indulge me!
I can be a fun chaperone. I play the music in the van LOUD. I like to rock! But something struck me this week. Here's what happened. A song came on and they all screamed, "Crank it up!" I listened to the whole thing. It was a man singing about how his 'girl on the side' had 'one on the way', and he was confessing to his real girlfriend hoping she would give him another chance. You'll be glad to know that I changed the station. But here's the catch-these 12 and 13 year olds already knew the words and loved singing it! The van was rockin'. Remember-these aren't the riff-raff of society. These are good kids on a mission trip to make a difference for Christ. I feel certain that many of them aren't even exactly sure what they were singing about.
I tell that story to tell you this. I know that music is a big part of life for kids of all ages, but I'm continually overwhelmed and disturbed at the power and influence the current music culture has over them. It's indirect, it's cunning, and it's Satan! We can't shelter our kids and teens from everything, but I pray that all of us-especially parents-are in the trenches with our kids. When's the last time you sat and listened to one of your kids' CD's or radio station? I think many of the songs would make you blush. And many of them DON'T have parental warning stickers on them. SEX and RAGE are the main themes of the majority of music marketed to YOUR kids. I just thought you needed to know!
I'm climbing down from my soapbox now!!! Check out a terrific website that I have mentioned before www.almenconi.com. This man is on the warpath for Christ and against the evils of media. In the meantime, consider talking to your kids TODAY about their music and relate it to Philippians 4:8 "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."
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"WHEN RELATIONSHIPS ARE BROKEN"
by Mikal Frazier, LMFT, LPC
When relationships are broken, God is grieved. In Ephesians 4:30-32, God tells us "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Relationships with one another are ultimate with God. The book of 1 John makes it clear that our love of God produces love for our brother. Several times in this book John tells us of the link between our love for God and our love for our brother. In 1 John 4:20, the Holy Spirit says "For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." Our relationship with God is dependent on how we relate with our brother.
There is no place for shunning, cold-shouldering, sarcasm and slander. These behaviors come from hurting people who are not choosing to be filled with the Spirit of God. Such behaviors expose them as empty of the Spirit of God and filled with deceit.
God's solution? His solution is a "go" proposition. When there is a difficulty with a brother, God wants us to go to our brother and do all within our power to heal the relationship. In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus tells us to leave our gift at the altar and be reconciled with our brother. Burton Coffman, in his commentary, states the following about these verses: "Christ's plan of maintaining harmony….is really quite simple.
It is 'Go!'"
Coffman points out that three times God says for us to go to our brother. We are to go when our brother is offended (Matthew 5:23-24). We are to go when we are offended (Matthew 18:15-17). And we are to go when a brother has been overtaken in sin (Galatians 6:1). In each of these situations, the goal is reconciliation, either reconciliation to your brother or reconciliation to God. God is love and nothing except relationships with one another and a relationship with God is important.
Coffman also makes it clear that attempting to make things write with our brother is more important, even than worship. He states concerning verse 23 of Matthew 5: "…the first duty is to make it right with the brother, a duty more imperative, even, than that of worship, and which takes precedence over it."
These same principles are true even in the context of marriage. In 1 Peter 3:7, we learn that marital strife can hinder our prayers to God. To be pleasing to God, we must put relationships above all else.
Paul Faulkner states in his book, Making Things Right When Things Go Wrong, that we must become the transitional person. We must be willing, as the Alan Jackson's country song says, to "climb the wall." Whatever wall is between you and another person, be willing to knock it down and do everything within your power to be reconciled. Isn't that exactly what Jesus did for us while we were yet sinners?
Reconciliation, living in relationship with one another and with God is a "Go" proposition. While the Son of God was in heaven, his task was to "go" to earth and reconcile us to God.
GO, heal relationships, mend, forgive, agape and "Do not grieve the Holy
Spirit of God."
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PERCEPTIONS
"A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words"
by Jerry Hodge
The Bible is full of pictures for us to see. But so is the world of advertising and speech making. If you stopped to think about it, you could bring to mind many products that use vivid images to sell their products-"Like a rock," "Like a good neighbor." What do these two slogans picture? Jerry uses many illustrations and then challenges us to be a "picture of Christ" to the world. You may read about it
at
http://www.allaboutfamilies.org/sh/percep200408.html
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If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is
mikalfraz@aol.com
Norman's e-mail address:
nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org