CONTENTS

• JUST VISITING
• FEATURE ARTICLE
  A WONDERFUL FAMILY OUTING
  by Mikal Frazier, LMFT, LPC

  Just Visiting

  Recently Ann and I have been making our way through about 3,000 35mm slides. When we were raising our children, those slides were the photography medium of choice. How were we to know the digital generation would render them obsolete? We're still not sure what we're going to do with them, but we decided to discard a large number of them. We can find digital copies on the internet with quality that far exceeds my amateurish photographic attempts. We can't part with the family pictures unless they are too dark or too washed out to see clearly. They represent adventures with our family. No professional photographer was there to record them. I had the misfortune of recording them in the most difficult format to transfer into a workable digital arrangement. But we have them. As we skimmed through them "precious memories flooded our souls. Mikal writes of a different but lasting family memory maker. Memories are powerful. I think of Paul writing to Timothy and saying, "I stir up your pure mind by way of remembrance." Read Mikal's article and try it with your family. You might get hooked.

  Norman

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  A WONDERFUL FAMILY OUTING
  by Mikal Frazier, LMFT, LPC

  I recently had the pleasure of joining my son and his family on a very special outing. My son must endure the plague of having a family therapist for a mother. So part of me, good or bad, is just about always assessing interactions. This particular event was most positive with many valuable interactions.

  My husband and I accompanied this family of five on a letter-boxing trek. Such an activity was foreign to us. We had never heard of it before. But we were game. After all, we would be with this precious little family and I have yet to find a place I won't go with them.

  My daughter-in-law had her "letterboxing bag." In it was an album type notebook which she had decorated as you might do a picture scrapbook . In it were blank pages on which this family would record their findings. Also in her bag was the family rubber stamp the entire family had agreed on. Then the individual stamps other members of the family had chosen were also in the bag. (There are still some individual stamps to be chosen.) The only other tools needed in the bag are the inkpad and a pen or pencil to leave a message if you choose. You might also want to write something about the find in your own album or notebook if there was something you wanted to remember. We took pictures along the way, which my daughter-in-law may add to the album.

  It might be helpful if I share with you a definition and description I found as I researched for this article. The following is from Silent Doug's Letterboxing Site at

  letterboxing.org

  Letterboxing is an intriguing mix of treasure hunting, art, navigation and exploring interesting, scenic and sometimes remote places. It takes the ancient custom of placing a rock on a cairn upon reaching the summit of a mountain to an art form. It started when a gentleman simply left his calling card in a bottle by a remote pool on the moors of Dartmoor in England. The Basic Idea - Someone hides a waterproof box somewhere (in a beautiful, interesting or remote location) containing at least a logbook, pencils and a carved rubber stamp and perhaps other goodies. The hider then usually writes directions to the box (called "clues" or "the map"), which can be straightforward, cryptic or any degree in between. Often the clues involve map coordinates or compass bearings from landmarks, but they do not have to. Selecting a location and writing the clues is one aspect of the art. Once the clues are written, hunters in possession of the clues attempt to find the box. In addition to the clue and any maps or tools needed to solve it, the hunter should carry at least a pencil, a personalized rubber stamp, an inkpad and your own personal logbook (if you want to start a hobby of letterboxing; otherwise, carrying at least a pencil is sufficient). When the hunter successfully deciphers the clues and finds the box, they stamp the logbook in the box with your personalized stamp and stamp their personal logbooks with the box's stamp. The box's logbook keeps a record of all its visitors, and the hunters keep a record of all the boxes they have found in their personal logbooks.

  The gentleman, mentioned in this description, who hid his card in the bottle in England, did so in 1854. You can find more history on this activity at the same address cited above.

  So many things came to my mind about the benefits for the family and children as we followed the clues to four letterboxes on one nature trail during a recent family trip.

  • First of all it is intentional. Dr. Stephen Covey has informed us of the need to be intentional. Dr. William Doherty, in his book The Intentional Family, informs us that not to be intentional is to risk the "natural drift of family life in contemporary America … toward slowly diminishing connection, meaning and community."

  • Such an activity gives the vital message of value. It says, "I value you," to each of those family members when done with respect to each pf the other family member. I saw my grandsons learn a lesson in considering others as they were each given turns in actually locating the letterbox. Just a couple of other things to mention: Some make their own rubber stamps. The boxes you use must be waterproof. A plastic food storage container will be perfect. We found one decorated with camouflage tape. And the cost is quite nominal.

  Many more positive things can be said for this hobby. I highly recommend it. You can find much more information and the clues for the letterboxes in your vicinity at

  letterboxing.org

  Oh, and my husband? I didn't mention him did I? Well he was back at the beginning of the trail, sitting in a little park that happened to be there, holding our two-year-old granddaughter as she got an afternoon nap. Tough job!

  * * * * *

  If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is mikal@allaboutfamilies.org
  Norman's e-mail address:
  nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org
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