All About Families, October 26, 2006> </head> <body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="CC0033" alink="#FF3366" vlink="#990000" text="#000000"> <table cellspacing="10" border="0" width="100%"> <tr> <td align="center" colspan="2"> <img src="current_title.gif" height="87" width="473" alt="All About Families"> </td> </tr> <tr> <td valign="top" width="125"> <a href="./"><img src="home.gif" vspace="3" alt="Home Page" border="0"></a> <a href="previous.html"><img src="previous.gif" vspace="3" alt="Previous Issues" border="0"></a> <a href="subscribe.html"><img src="subscribe.gif" vspace="3" alt="Subscribe" border="0"></a> <a href="message.html"><img src="mb.gif" vspace="3" alt="Message Board" border="0"></a> </td> <td> <center>  Volume 11 Number 11 <img src="current.gif" width=125 height=35 border=0>   October 26, 2006  Norman Bales, Editor </center>  <h3>CONTENTS</h3> <ul> <li><a href=#visit> JUST VISITING</a> <li><A href=#feature>FEATURE ARTICLE: WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY TO YOUR CHILDREN by Norman and Ann Bales</a> <A name="visit"</a> <center><h4>Just Visiting</h4></center> A tragic car wreck in our community has focused attention on the worth of families in a dramatic way. Although we are not personally connected with any of the families involved, we have been newly reminded of how much our families mean to us. Today's feature article reveals some of the thoughts and questions that have been running through our minds. Norman and Ann <center>* * * * * </center> <center>WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY TO YOUR CHILDREN</center> by Norman and Ann Bales Our entire community went into shock last week when the lives of five wholesome, well-liked American girls were forever altered within the space of a few seconds. Of course we know that people lose their lives in traffic accidents every day, but something was different about this one. Five teenage girls got into one vehicle and started down the interstate highway intending to cheer for their school at a Friday night football game. Somewhere along the way, they lost control of the vehicle. The flipped (more than one time we understand) and when it came to rest three of the girls were dead; another was severely injured. The other young lady survived with only minor injuries. We know what you may be thinking, but according to police reports, no drugs or alcohol were involved. Everyone who knew them speaks highly of their character. The girls were said to be fine Christian young ladies. How did they lose control of the car? No one really knows. So why are we writing about a traffic accident in All About Families? The father of one of the girls who died said something that we can't put out of our minds. He said, "Tell your children that you love them every day." We think about our readers. Our readers include husbands, wives, parents, grandparents, children, and single people - people who have caring relationship with others either through family ties or friendship. How long has it been since you let those who are closest to you know how much you care about them? Do you just take it for granted that they understand the depth of your feelings? You need to tell them you love them, and you need to do it often. If you're a guy and it doesn't seem quite manly to say, "I love you," then find another way of saying it. Search for synonyms. If you'll click on this web site, you will find 114 entries on love. Somewhere in there you're bound to find a manly way of saying it. <a href="mailto:thesaurus.reference.com>"thesaurus.reference.com</a> Allow us to make a few suggestions. "I enjoy spending time with you." "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you." "I deeply respect you, and I look forward to every moment we get to be together." "You're special." "I admire you more than I can ever tell you." "You're the best" "I'm honored to be your husband/ father/ friend." Surely you can say at least one of those things without compromising your masculinity. After that, maybe you'll find the courage to use the four-letter word, l-o-v-e. Some of us try to avoid the discomfort of using the love vocabulary. To defend ourselves, we say things like "I show my love by my actions." Or, "I demonstrate my love by spending time with those who mean the most to me." Some of us have "secret signals" that are a part of our love language. Maybe you tell your child "I love you" by exchanging high fives. Good for you. You need to do all those things, but isn't there something wrong when we can't bring ourselves to include the word "love" in our speech? Is it because our vocabulary is limited? Or is it because we're afraid we can't live up to the requirements of love? Do we think love is about to be rationed, and we'll lose something if we give it away? Are we afraid those who are closest too us will misunderstand if we use the vocabulary of love? That father's plea burned its way into our hearts. We think of our own children and grandchildren, who live several hundred miles away from us. We think of siblings, extended family, and close friends. Do they know how much we love them? Oh, we've said it, but have we said it enough? If some tragedy should take them away from us, would we wish that we said it more? Why are we so reluctant to say it? Those are sobering questions. We need to communicate love in every way we can, and as often as we can. Maybe every day? <center>* * * * * </center> If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is <a href="mailto:mikal@allaboutfamilies.org">mikal@allaboutfamilies.org</a> Norman's e-mail address: <a href="mailto:nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org">nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org</a> Tell your friends they can subscribe by sending a blank message to <a href="allaboutfamilies-subscribe@welovegod.org>subscribe@welovegod.org</a>. If you would like to be taken off this newsletter mailing list please send a blank message to <a href="allaboutfamilies-unsubscribe@welovegod.org"> unsubscribe@welovegod.org</a> Southern Hills Church of Christ 9080 Southwood Drive Shreveport, Louisiana 71118 (318) 686-2190 E-mail: Norman Bales: Norman's e-mail address: <a href="mailto:nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org">nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org</a> Ann Bales: <a href="mailto:ann@allaboutfamilies.org">ann@allaboutfamilies.org</a> Mikal Frazier: <a href="mailto:mikal@allaboutfamilies.org">mikal@allaboutfamilies.org</a> "Jim Bales"<a href="mailto:jbales@prcoc.org">jbales@prcoc.org</a> Web:<a href=mailto.allaboutfamilies.org/>allaboutfamilies.org</a> <a href=mailto:allaboutfamilies.org/sh>allaboutfamilies.org/sh</a>