All About Families, March 27, 2007> </head> <body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="CC0033" alink="#FF3366" vlink="#990000" text="#000000"> <table cellspacing="10" border="0" width="100%"> <tr> <td align="center" colspan="2"> <img src="current_title.gif" height="87" width="473" alt="All About Families"> </td> </tr> <tr> <td valign="top" width="125"> <a href="./"><img src="home.gif" vspace="3" alt="Home Page" border="0"></a> <a href="previous.html"><img src="previous.gif" vspace="3" alt="Previous Issues" border="0"></a> <a href="subscribe.html"><img src="subscribe.gif" vspace="3" alt="Subscribe" border="0"></a> <a href="message.html"><img src="mb.gif" vspace="3" alt="Message Board" border="0"></a> </td> <td> <center>  Volume 12 Number 2 <img src="current.gif" width=125 height=35 border=0>   March 27, 2007  Norman Bales, Editor </center>  <h3>CONTENTS</h3> <ul> <li><a href=#visit> JUST VISITING</a> <li><A href=#feature>FEATURE ARTICLE: 'Til Death Do Us Part? by Norman and Ann Bales </a> <A name="visit"</a> <center><h4>Just Visiting</h4></center> In recent months we have attended or been involved with several weddings. We have heard so many different vows repeated, most of them what we would call non-traditional. It seems that a lot of them depended on the age of the couple and the age of the minister, but not always. Two weeks ago we attended the wedding of a couple that recently graduated from college. The minister was about the same age, married and with a babe in arms. The ceremony was very traditional. Five years ago Norman performed a wedding for an older couple. In the past few days I have put together a copy of the wedding ceremony the couple requested. As I read over the wedding vows this couple made to each other, I realized how important commitment is to the success of a marriage relationship. Recently in one of the advice columns of the local newspaper there was a note from a young man who is in a live-in relationship. His partner of nearly a year wants a long-term commitment from him. In the letter he states, "She wants me to guarantee a long-term commitment to her. I can't do that, because I don't know what will happen down the road. I love her with all my heart and soul. She wants something that I can't deliver right now." Without commitment there will never be a guarantee. In fact, there is never a guarantee in life of what will be "down the road". The issue of commitment is what this article is about. Ann <center>* * * * * </center> <center>'Til Death Do Us Part? </center> by Norman and Ann Bales We can't tell you how many wedding ceremonies we've attended. Between the two of us we've sung for them, "stood up" with brides and grooms, performed ceremonies, stage managed the whole show, hosted showers, served cake and punch, and even played a practical joke or two in order to send a couple off into a life of married bliss. We've noticed how ceremonies have changed over the years. Rarely do ministers say, "If anyone knows a reason why this marriage should not take place, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." We can't remember the last time we heard either a bride or groom say, "hitherto I plight thee my troth." That's a good thing. Unfortunately, we're beginning to notice the absence of some other phrases that shouldn't be trashed. These include <ul><li>"Forsaking all others." <li>"I promise to be faithful 'til death do us part. <li>"Keep myself pure for your sake."</ul> There's a common thread in these omissions - the lack of commitment. From its inception marriage was intended to be a lifetime commitment. When the Pharisees attempted to ensnare Jesus in a long-standing theological debate about divorce he said, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh-no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart (Matthew 19:4-6 - The Message). While we aren't ready to treat the victims of divorce as if radioactive poisoning has contaminated them, we are alarmed when people enter marriage without commitment. It's appalling that some people even seem to think of marriage as the first step toward divorce. While prenuptial agreements might make good economic sense to people who possess a lot of money, the whole idea is based on the premise that marriage doesn't necessarily have to be permanent. It's no secret that many people are choosing cohabitation over marriage. Why? Many of them say, "Because I can leave any time I want to." That same presumption may well exist when couples insist on non-committal marriage vows. If it's legitimate to provide yourself a convenient exit chute prior to beginning the marriage, why bother to marry at all? We consider cohabitation a socially damaging and spiritually unacceptable practice. But what's the difference in that and entering marriage without commitment? If you're not going to commit, cohabitation looks more attractive. Breaking the relationship is not nearly as complicated. We believe there's a reason for marriage commitment. It doesn't have anything to do with "being in love." Furthermore it doesn't guarantee perpetual happiness, but it brings stability to people's lives and to the lives of their children. G. K. Chesterton might well have been speaking to us when he wrote these words to an earlier generation. "When we defend the family, we do not mean it will always be a peaceful family; when we maintain the thesis of marriage, we do not mean it is always a happy marriage. We mean that it is the theater of the spiritual drama, the place where things happen, especially the things that matter." <center>* * * * * </center> If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is <a href="mailto:mikal@allaboutfamilies.org">mikal@allaboutfamilies.org</a> Norman's e-mail address: <a href="mailto:nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org">nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org</a> Tell your friends they can subscribe by sending a blank message to <a href="allaboutfamilies-subscribe@welovegod.org>subscribe@welovegod.org</a>. If you would like to be taken off this newsletter mailing list please send a blank message to <a href="allaboutfamilies-unsubscribe@welovegod.org"> unsubscribe@welovegod.org</a> Southern Hills Church of Christ 9080 Southwood Drive Shreveport, Louisiana 71118 (318) 686-2190 E-mail: Norman Bales: Norman's e-mail address: <a href="mailto:nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org">nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org</a> Ann Bales: <a href="mailto:ann@allaboutfamilies.org">ann@allaboutfamilies.org</a> Mikal Frazier: <a href="mailto:mikal@allaboutfamilies.org">mikal@allaboutfamilies.org</a> "Jim Bales"<a href="mailto:jbales@prcoc.org">jbales@prcoc.org</a> Web:<a href=mailto.allaboutfamilies.org/>allaboutfamilies.org</a> <a href=mailto:allaboutfamilies.org/sh>allaboutfamilies.org/sh</a>