CONTENTS

• JUST VISITING
• ANESTHESIA DOESN'T CURE DISEASE
  
• FAMILY TRADITIONS
  
• IT'S NOT A HAPPY TIME OF YEAR FOR EVERYONE
  
• TAKE REIN OF MY THOUGHTS
  by Claudia Pendergrass
  

Church and Family is the name of a new quarterly periodical published by the Harding University Institute for Church and Family. Howard W. Norton is the editor. Kay Gowen is the managing editor. Carl Mitchell serves as the associate editor and Nathan Mellor is the magazine's consultant. The magazine is printed in an attractive format with generous use of color. Articles alternate between relationships in a church family and relationships in the "nuclear" family. The magazine isn't free, but it comes close. For a $15.00 donation, one can receive a lifetime subscription. The magazine is NOT published on the internet. For further information send an e-mail message to ICFR@Harding.edu.com.

Claudia Pendergrass read our article on controlling thoughts and sent us the lyrics to a song she had recently written. We asked for permission to publish the lyrics, which she graciously granted. If you would like more information about the song, the music, etc, you can contact Claudia. Her e-mail address is My4kids213@aol.com.

Norman

ANESTHESIA DOESN'T CURE DISEASE

By Norman Bales

One night we were fortunate enough to get tickets for an outstanding performance by a symphony orchestra. I enjoyed the concert, but I had a small problem. Earlier that afternoon I had undergone some extensive dental surgery. Unfortunately, the novocaine in my jaw lost its effect just about the time the kettle drummer started pounding on the drums with all the enthusiasm of a man fighting alligators. We had very good tickets - second row as a matter of fact, but I nearly went through the ceiling every time that young man attacked the drums. That experience brought home to me a great lesson about life. I was reminded that anesthesia is great when a dentist cuts on your gums. If I have a choice, I'll always choose the novocaine but you can't stay anesthetized forever and anesthesia only temporarily relieves pain. Healing takes a lot longer and it's usually a painful process.

Many people would prefer anesthesia to cope with life's problems. We don't come to church to be challenged; we come to have our biases confirmed. We want to feel comfortable with the things that take place here. Nothing that happens significantly alters our lives and we don't expect to be changed. If anyone needs to change, it's the other fellow.

When we apply anesthesia to the conscience, it works the same way novocaine works on one's gums. It numbs moral sensitivity. While it may temporarily relieve the pain, it cannot cure the disease that threatens our spiritual health. The problem is compounded by spiritual quack medicine. Some people seem to think the best way to heal a wound is make it worse, so they keep poking and jabbing with their verbal remarks and sometimes the patient lapses into a terminal condition. Psychological guilt tripping doesn't work any better than a numbing dose of cheap grace. You wouldn't want to trust that kind of preacher anymore than you would trust a scalpel-happy surgeon who wants to enlarge his bank account by performing unnecessary surgery and you shouldn't entrust your soul to a person who enjoys cutting you down in order to gain power over you.

When real sickness occurs, the only cure is the saving blood of Jesus Christ, but the blood doesn't work if we deny our sin-sick condition. John said, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9). And this purification is done without anesthesia but is the greatest healing process available.

During this season of the year, we think a lot about family traditions. Most of us develop some kind of family tradition we observe during the Christmas season. When our youngest son was about three years old, I bought a 35-mm camera. Slides were the preferred format of color photography in those days, so I took lots of them at Christmas. The next year we showed the previous year's slides on Christmas Eve. This developed into a tradition we call "Christmas Past." It went on for about 30 years. One year we noticed pictures of everyone eating popcorn on Christmas Eve, so we decided, we had to serve popcorn on Christmas Eve. Our children are scattered across the globe now and we haven't all been together for Christmas in several years. The slides just don't have the same magic they once had and besides, sometime after twenty years, we noticed the slide show was getting awfully long. We developed our traditions when we lived more than a thousand miles from our family members and loved ones. We have encouraged our children to develop their own traditions. It doesn't really matter what your traditions are, but it is a good thing to develop some traditions. It provides a unique bond for families.

Norman

IT'S NOT A HAPPY TIME OF YEAR FOR EVERYONE

I'm a very amateurish, amateur songwriter. I once wrote a Christmas song, which I titled, "It's Christmas Time Again." Don't go looking for it at your music store. It's not available on CD, Cassette or Vinyl. It's not even available in an 8 track or 78 rpm format. I wrote a line in the lyric that is partly true and partly false. I said. "It's the happiest time of the year." Unfortunately, it's not a happy time for everyone. Yesterday, I visited the hospital and sought to minister to a couple of families who are going into Christmas trying to figure out how to deal with bad news about serious, long-term debilitating diseases. As I walked the corridors of two hospitals, I observed people in various stages of rehab and I realized their happiness would be limited when compared to mine. It's great to enjoy the season, but we need to remember the season can be rough on some folks.

Norman

Take rein of my thoughts, O Lord,
I yearn to be true to You;
Take rein of my heart, O Lord,
And pull it to You, please do.

It's filthy and dark, O sin,
This stain on my heart, within;
Through your Son's gentle grace,
The healing begins.

My thoughts can be pure and clean,
The stain will be washed away;
My heart will be one with You,
O stay, Spirit, stay.

Make me your holy one
Only Christ can, You can;
I give you my thoughts, my heart,
To reign and command.

Claudia Pendergrass
Copyright, © 1996

If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is mikalfraz@aol.com

Norman's e-mail address: nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org