CONTENTS

• JUST VISITING
• FEATURE ARTICLE "The Place of Family Tradition"
• "The Cookie Principle"
  by Jerry Hodge
• WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING
  About church and family - Charles Sell
  About home - Ann Douglas
  About good mothers - Jill Churchill
  About power - Brad Dudley
  

I'm happy to feature a guest article written by Jerry Hodge, a good friend and colleague. Jerry ministers in the same city where I live. He's one of the wittiest people I know. Some people might says he is a "flake." Of course I wouldn't say that. He's just the kind of guy whose funny bone is a little closer to the surface. Recently, a group of us planned to take a trip to Dallas, but Jerry had to back out at the last minute. We all felt like our trip was much more boring without Jerry to keep us on our toes. Behind Jerry's keen sense of humor is a mind that's sharp and insightful. You get to see a little of both of these in his discussion of the "Cookie Principle." Incidentally, when I called to ask for permission to include his article in our newsletter, Jerry up dated me on his neighborhood dogs. He said they are becoming more friendly.

Norman

by Norman Bales

There's a picture of my father on a shelf just behind my office chair. In the picture he's wearing a western hat cocked slightly to the right. Last week I wore a baseball cap while doing some yard work. I happened to glance at myself in the mirror and noticed that I was wearing my cap cocked slightly to the right. When I thought about it, I realized that family tradition determined the peculiar angle of my cap. As a matter of fact I imitate my father in many of the things I do. I'm far better educated than he was, but in my unguarded moments I make the same grammatical errors in my speech (I say "ain't," use double negatives and I often feel inclined to substitute "them" for "those" even though I know "them" is not a possessive pronoun). I sometimes mispronounce words the same way he did. A wheel barrow becomes a "wheel bar;" Ann "arns" my clothes and barbed wire becomes "bob war." I also tend to emulate many of his social patterns, much to the irritation of my wife. Family tradition is strong.

Family tradition probably has more influence on the adoption of ethical standards among young people than any other one factor. Recent studies among adolescents indicate they often adopt the lifestyles and behavior patterns of their parents. (See The Gospel According to Generation X by Dodd, Lewis and Tippens). If a child's parents say one thing and do another, their offspring will generally pick up on their behavior, not their rhetoric. Certainly the church has a strong role to play in character formation. We need to do everything we can to communicate Biblical ideals. Sometimes a preacher, a youth minister and other church leaders can be quite effective in mentoring young people whose parents are poor role models. Even so parents generally have more influence than any one else. We like to pin the blame on the media, peer pressure and public institutions when our kids get in trouble. It makes us very uncomfortable to deal with our own parenting shortcomings as a likely cause of a child's irreverent behavior.

Children are perceptive. They are quick to detect phoniness. That's why it's important for us to make sure that our life styles and beliefs match up as closely as possible.

The educational system under the law of Moses was constructed on the premise that standards of behavior are most effectively communicated through family tradition. "Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). "Like father like son" is not an empty phrase. What kind of family traditions are being developed in your home?"

by Jerry Hodge
Jhodge862@aol.com
Pulpit Minister
University Church of Christ
Shreveport, Louisiana

The neighbors have two dogs that drive me crazy. Every day they bark at me and my family. They act as if their goal in life is to play chase with my arm. One is an Australian Shepherd and the other is a gentle mix of breeds. What can one do?

The neighbors have two dogs that drive me crazy. Every day they bark at me and my family. They act as if their goal in life is to play chase with my arm. One is an Australian Shepherd and the other is a gentle mix of breeds. What can one do?

The thought hit me hard Monday. I remember two Great Danes behind my grandmother's house in Denver. One was named "Severious." These dogs had a reputation of killing small animals and chasing adults back into their houses. When we asked if we could play with them, we were warned to stay away. That's when the idea of cookies hit me. I thought if Jack and I fed the dogs cookies, they would like us. (Oh the wisdom of an eight year old). Severious fell in love with us and I even have a picture of him kissing me. Did you know Severious whistled when he yawned?

Back to the story of my neighbor's dogs. Monday I began to feed the dogs. I believe by the end of the week we might see a change in attitude.

I wonder how many other areas in my life could use a cookie ministry. The Bible says a soft answer turns away wrath. I bet a newer translation might say - give them a cookie. Take the initiative to be nice. See if they can whistle. You might find out their bark is worse than their bite.

ABOUT CHURCH AND FAMILY: "People can best train for Christian family life in a church where relationships are patterned after a functional family." Charles Sell. Family Ministry.

ABOUT HOME: "Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved. Ann Douglas. New York Times.

ABOUT GOOD MOTHERS: "There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one." Jill Churchill. Crime and Punishment.

ABOUT POWER: "It is vital for us to understand that personal power is a smokescreen which prevents us from seeing that Christian faith is backwards to our power issues." - Brad Dudley. Twenty-first Century Christian.

If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is mikalfraz@aol.com

Norman's e-mail address: nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org