CONTENTS

• JUST VISITING
• Featured Article: "I've Just Been Thinking"
  by Norman Bales
• Guest Article: "Is Life Fair"
  by Douglas F. Parsons
• Perceptions - "Save The Men" by Charles Hodge
  

Here I am again. Norman still can't use his right hand, but it is much better. He got out of the hospital last Wednesday afternoon and is taking medicine for what the doctor diagnosed as pseudogout. If you want to know what that is, go surf the net. They give you lots details. Thanks to all of you who were concerned, sent messages and prayed for his recovery. Keep praying as he is still on the mend and not back to where he can use his hand like he normally does.

While in the hospital he had a lot of time to think and so we have chosen an article that Norman wrote a few weeks ago that fits right in with some of the things we talked about while he was in the hospital. Believe me, your marriage relationship takes on a whole different perspective when one of you is lying in a hospital bed. It's amazing how many of your thoughts are the same at a time like this. Norman gives insight as to how important this is in your marriage.

Our guest author today is Doug Parsons. Doug is minister for the Spring Woods church in Houston, Texas. His insight into human suffering is evident in the article we've included in today's newsletter.

Ann

"I'VE JUST BEEN THINKING"

by Norman Bales

Not long ago, Ann started a sentence by saying, "I've just been thinking . . .." When she told me what she was thinking, she verbalized thoughts that were identical to mine. Don't ask me to identify the subject. This little exercise in communication takes place on a regular basis regarding numerous topics.

Other variations of this phenomenon take place frequently. Sometimes we finish sentences for one another. On another occasion, one of us might suggest going out to a certain restaurant for supper, not knowing the other one had been thinking about that restaurant all day. On occasion something said in a sermon or Bible class will make a deep impression on both our minds, even though we didn't say a word about it before we get in the car to go home.

Our experience is not unique to our marriage. Many couples, who have been married over a long period of time, report similar phenomena. We know each other's shoe sizes, food preferences, entertainment tastes opinions about politics, etc. If I were so inclined, I could probably write a book on The Peculiar Habits of Ann that Most People Never Know. I'm not so inclined. If I were, she would probably get a court order to prevent publication.

Most people think that such thorough knowledge of one's spouse indicates the existence of intimacy. Perhaps it does and perhaps it doesn't. Such knowledge might well be superficial in its nature. It's one thing to know the lyrics of your spouse's favorite song. It's quite another to know what excites, offends, inspires, hurts, touches and irritates your spouse. There's not much threat involved in making sure you know which brand of toothpaste your spouse prefers, but there could be an enormous amount of threat in finding out what he or she really thinks about the quality of your relationship.

Quality marriages exist when we tactfully disclose ourselves to one another and when we open our hearts to hear those things we really don't want to hear. It involves the implementation of the principle expressed in James 5:16. "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed."

by Douglas F. Parsons

When Rabbi Kushner wrote When Bad Things Happen to Good People, a few years ago, many wrote to tell him they had a great idea for a sequel. Why not write a book about "Why Good Things Happen to Bad People?" The sufferings of the righteous are not the only theological problem. The prosperity of the wicked bothers people at least as much.

Why do selfish, dishonest people seem to get away with so much? If God can't protect the virtuous from illness or from other people's cruelty, couldn't He at least send His divine thunderbolts in the direction of the mean, crooked, selfish people in His world? And if He's not sure who they are, we could all probably suggest some names. For instance, I can think of a half-dozen well-placed funerals which might benefit the world. But my candidates for eternity are still very much alive and, seemingly prospering, while I can think of some fine, decent, upstanding good people whose backs are to the wall. It doesn't seem fair to me.

Actually, the same problem is as old as the Bible itself. Jeremiah, Habakkuk and the writers of the Psalms often appear to be more concerned about the prosperity of the wicked than with the sufferings of the good. Psalm 37 admonishes us not to be troubled overmuch about the fact that the wicked prosper in this wold, because their end is sue and they will "be cut off." That's all well and good, but what I'd like to know is when?

Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount said, "God sends rain on the just and the unjust" (Mathew 5:45). When we hear that verse we think, "Yep, that's the way it usually works out. You can plan a picnic and it rains." Ogden Nash put it into verse, which says, "The rain falls on the just and the unjust fellas, only the unjust have the umbrellas!" But really, when you think of water symbolizing God's grace, the verse does not mean that bad things happen to good people, but that good things happen to bad people!

God is impartial and loves even the wicked so there is hope. After all we are all sinners. If God should punish the wicked immediately who would be left? That's what grace is all about. None of us gets exactly what he deserves. God is not just. God is merciful. God always has something better for us. He has infinite love. We are not perfect, any of us. And the good news is that Jesus came to tell us that God loves us anyway!

Good things do happen to bad people - that is, to you and me. And that is enough to give us hope to keep on keeping on, even when life doesn't seem fair!

by Charles Hodge

Last week's Perceptions article was by Jerry Hodge. This week we call on Jerry's dad, Charles Hodge for our article. Charles has been a minister for many years and his son followed in his footsteps. He is a prolific writer and his thoughts about fathers are very timely.

If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is mikalfraz@aol.com

Norman's e-mail address: nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org