CONTENTS

• JUST VISITING
• FEATURE ARTICLE: A Special Look at P. K.'s
• IF I WERE FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT, I WOULD...
  THE CHRIST-CENTERED WIFE
  On Being Filled
  by Mikal Frazier
  

JUST VISITING

Here in the United States, we've just celebrated "Father's Day." Elliott, our oldest son was with us, along with our daughter-in-law, Melanie and our two energetic grandchildren, Audrey and Hunter. Such times are memorable events in a family. There's a little bit of a bittersweet edge to it this time. Elliott is an Army officer and will be leaving for a tour of duty in Europe in a few days. We're going to miss the opportunity to hug, laugh with, share with and otherwise spoil our grandchildren. They'll be gone for two, perhaps three years.

Reunions with my children always remind me of their experience of growing up in the home. I am a minister because I chose to be. Oh, I believe that God led me in this direction, but the choice was still mine. They didn't choose to be the "P. K.'s". I guess you could say it was "foreordained," not necessarily by God, but by their earthly father. In some ways that strikes me as unfair, but then on the other hand, I don't know of any children who have the opportunity to choose their father's occupation or profession. P. K.'s have some unique experiences and I hope our feature article helps everyone to understand their situation.

It continues to be a joy to be associated with Mikal Frazier in this venture. She has taken her assignment to write about the "Spirit Filled Wife" most seriously. She continues to research her topic diligently. We're pleased to offer another episode from her pen.

Norman

My wife and I raised four "P. K.s (That stands for "Preacher's Kids" as every P. K. knows). I don't hold myself up as a shinning example of success in this enterprise, but I do feel like I should qualify for combat pay.

People say some amazingly insensitive things about P. K.'s I have been asked, "Why are the preacher's kid's always the meanest kids in church." I usually responded, "Because they grow up with the member's kids and pick up the accumulated mischief of all the church member's kids." Recently, I heard one adult P. K. ask another, "Did you go crazy before or after you left home? It's not a question of 'if you did,' but 'when you did.'" I don't have a clever retort for that one, although I question the accuracy of the comment.

Some P. K.'s think being a preacher's kid is a fate worse than death, but the experience can also toughen them up for some of life's hard knocks later on. Looking back on it, I think the toughest aspect of their childhood was dealing with rejection. My four had different ways of handling it. One was a loner with "in-your-face" responses to "goody two shoes" indictments. I think some of them probably would have preferred to have been the children of a stockbroker, an airplane pilot or even a gear jammer on an 18 wheeler.

How can you help a P. K? Well you could start by viewing them as normal people. Church people can help by lowering their expectations. A P. K. shouldn't have to explain second century Gnosticism to a fifth grade Sunday school class, just because his Dad is in the pulpit on Sunday. P. K.'s should be treated like other Christian boys and girls. Finally, Dads - those of us who saddled them with this role in life - have an important responsibility. Paul wrote in Colossians 3:21, " Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."

How do you assuage the tender feelings, fragile egos and disappointment of a child who is struggling for a sense of self worth and trying to live up to additional expectations because of his father's ministry? You begin by listening. If they fail, you don't pressure them into thinking they have placed your job in jeopardy. It's also wise to affirm a child's strengths, gifts, and abilities. The pain of rejection is inevitable in every child's life, but the wise parent looks for a way to help the child see the pain of rejection as a stepping stone to growth. This is especially important for P. K.'s.

On Being Filled

My life had been given back to me. We glided safely to the runway, and as soon as we shakily crawled out of the single engine Cessna, I stooped and touched the ground. At that moment, gratitude filled my heart so greatly, that nothing could have stolen my joy. For a period of time all I could do was tell my pleasure. I said over and over, "This is wonderful, this is wonderful!" Minutes before we had been 6500 feet above the ground in the dark of the night and had lost our only engine. When I first heard the terrible racket break loose from the engine, and the plane began a fierce shudder from stem to stern, I believed with all my heart that my fate was sealed. At least as far as this earth was concerned. A combination of the pre-dawn darkness and the thick blanket of tall, willowy pines covering East Texas left me with no hope of a safe landing. But through His care, we did land safely. I would be able to return to my husband and young children. My joy was inexpressible.

The first time I remember being overwhelmed with the emotion of gratitude is when my children were very young. Their preciousness to me was growing daily. I felt as though I would absolutely burst with joy, and it just had to be expressed. It was then that as I demonstrated my love for them in one way or another, I would also have to verbalize, "Thank you, God." I could not contain my joy.

Then, when our first grandchild was born, I remember holding him in my arms on the very first day of his life, and saying to his other grandmother, "I know this happens everyday, but this is just marvelous." I was overflowing with a desire to express my wonder.

A wonder and joy even beyond these examples fills us with an inexpressible gratitude to a loving savior and father when we really know how great a salvation we have. When we are filled with gratitude we are aware that we have a debt, an obligation (Romans 8:12). Our emotions energize us, and an overwhelming sense of gratitude energizes and motivates our response to Jesus Christ.

The words of Paul from Ephesians 2 paraphrased by Eugene Peterson in The Message, if really taken to heart, will create the kind of passion I am describing:

"It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in the highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah."

Charles Hodge in his little book, Amazing Grace, does a wonderful job of capturing the wonder, awe and worship with which lost mortals should respond to a loving savior. Hodge says of the gratitude produced by His grace that it is "humbled dependence." Two consequences of this gratitude described by Hodge are a "sense of blessing and a sense of absolute dependency." When I am aware of this gift of grace and I have produced within me such wonder, awe, worship, a sense of blessing and dependency, how can I respond in any other way than obedience.

Have you ever felt a sense of obligation to anyone? Perhaps after they had performed some great favor, you were eager to act in a way that says, "I am indebted to you." You were energized by your gratitude. As Christian women, that is what God wants from us. Our wonder, awe, worship and gratitude compel us to Lordship faith in Jesus Christ. If so, we will make him Lord of our lives. When he has become Lord of our lives, submission to his will is no longer an issue.

A friend was telling me recently of his travels to Africa. While there he was introduced to a native who had walked half a day to just meet my friend and tell him how much he appreciated the missionary who had come to share Jesus with him. He also wanted my friend to go back home and tell the supporting congregation how grateful he and his people were for the missionary and how needed the missionary was. That man was moved by gratitude to his god.

Gratitude to our Savior is our motivation to behave in Christ-like ways to our husbands. When our response is out of our gratitude, being what Jesus would have us be cannot be a burden. When we are making choices in our relationships because of gratitude, there is never regret. Fear is the obstacle which causes us to develop the self-protective behaviors which harm relationships. When we are motivated by gratitude, we become courageous and are able to put fear that would hamper us aside. So out of our gratitude we are willing to risk. And when we risk in his will we will be successful. We are successful because we have done his will, no matter the response of anyone else. And because we gain courage, and we risk, and we are successful, we are returned to being grateful to him for his grace and his Lordship. And again we are motivated to servanthood in relationship to our husbands out of the joy of his grace. And again we experience courage, risk and success, and we are "being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18.

Someone has said: "I stood in the twilight in the garden of Gethsemane and there I noticed three gates. One gate represented those that break down. That's Judas. There's another gate. Those who break out. That's the apostle Peter in viciousness, cynicism and rebellion. The third gate is the gate in which Jesus went and that is the gate of submission, the gate of Gethsemane, the gate of crucifixion. The very cross that was designed to crush him literally lifted him."

Ladies, we have the choice of submitting to his Lordship out of gratitude, or continuing to live in fear and chaos and chase the idols of the day. Any choice other than submission to His will leads to disappointment and emptiness. Following Him in Lordship faith results in being filled with his Spirit and being "transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory."

(Mikal Frazier is a wife, mother, grandmother and a licensed family therapist with a private practice in Minden and Bossier City, Louisiana)

NEXT WEEK'S FEATURE STUDY: "Overcoming Intentional Avoidance in Marriage."