CONTENTS
- JUST VISITING- Promise Keepers Follow Up
- ADDRESS CHANGE:
- FEATURE ARTICLE: "Take Care of Your Rat Killing"
- FROM THE E-MAIL BAG
"Promise Keepers Success Stories"
JUST VISITING - Promise Keepers Follow Up
Two weeks ago, I made some mildly supportive statements concerning "Promise Keepers." Some of our readers criticized my statements and some unsubscribed in protest. I don't intend to carry on an extended debate concerning the merits of "Promise Keepers." AAF is not connected with Promise Keepers in any way and it's not our purpose to promote Promise Keepers. I simply commented on some of the good things done by Promise Keepers.
To keep the record straight, I said that "it's not my cup of tea." I watched a good bit of "Stand in the Gap" and there are some things about it that bother me
Having said that, I think the fact that a large gathering of men praised God in the very shadow of a place where edicts have gone out to stifle utterance of the name of God was impressive. I believe some men will go home and become better husbands, fathers, community leaders, etc. I know one man who went to a Promise Keepers stadium gathering. He returned home and went to work the next week. In the middle of the day he called his wife at home and said, "Honey, I just want to tell you what a blessing it is to be married to you." She wondered if he was on drugs, but the narcotic was actually a deep seated conviction that he needed to be more sensitive to his family.
In my article three weeks ago, I asked for "success stories" for Promise Keepers. This week I'm sharing three of them. Some have been edited for space.
Norman
ADDRESS CHANGE
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Take Care of Your Rat Killing
Of all the excuses for ending a marriage, the worst is "I don't love him/her anymore." The Bible mentions three great virtues - faith, hope, and love. That comes at the end of 1 Corinthians 13, widely recognized as the great love chapter of the Bible. Indeed, Paul concludes his thoughts by saying, ". . .the greatest of these is love." Unfortunately, our understanding of love and Paul's concept of love aren't any closer than thirty-second cousins. We think love is what you feel. Sometimes love does indeed involve our feelings, but real love occurs when you act in the best interests of another person. When you do that, you don't always have warm and tender feelings and you certainly, don't always feel inclined toward romance. As Clint Black suggests in a contemporary country song, "love is not something that we feel; it's something that we do."
In the years of my bachelorhood, I lived next door to an older widow and I was sort of interested in her attractive daughter who still lived at home. We never developed any kind of romantic involvement. I was a young single minister and her interests just didn't flow with mine.
One day the older lady called. In a frantic voice, she said, "I need your help." I had been off to college and I thought I knew a thing or two about counseling and I thought this might be an opportunity to practice some things I had learned in the classroom. There was also the fleeting thought that I might get a little better acquainted with her pretty daughter.
They had a different kind of help in mind. My neighbor continued, "There's a rat in my bathroom and I want you to kill it." I said, "Lady, you've got the wrong number." Rat Killing wasn't a part of the curriculum where I went to school. She assured me that she had indeed connected with the right party and she expected me to insure the rat's early demise. She said, "You'd better bring a weapon. He's nearly as big as you are."
I'm not a violent person, but I went to her house with my tennis racquet in my hand. It was the only thing that even closely resembled a weapon that I could find. I saw two terrified women and the biggest rat I've ever seen. She had exaggerated his size, but not by that much. I bravely bludgeoned that poor critter to death and triumphantly carried him out of the house. So now the truth is out. I'm not just a minister, columnist, husband, and all around good guy. I'm also a rat terminator.
I had never thought of killing rats as a way to show love to people. The animal rights people probably think I'm terrible, but on that particular day I demonstrated my love for my neighbors by killing a rat. Sometimes love is not shown through tender words, a soft touch and a warm embrace. It's displayed by a strong arm attached to a tennis racquet. I wish those people who want to leave spouses they don't love would stop thinking so much about their feelings and concentrate on loving actions. Maybe your marriage would improve if you would take care of your rat killing.
I have been to several PK events, including Stand in the Gap last
Saturday.
Here is a list of the fruit I hope my family sees:
Twelve years ago, I was a newly married atheist.
Did Promise Keepers do this? NO!
Promise Keepers magnified the Lord who:
AND taught me to love as Jesus loves -
Selfless - TO THE POINT OF DEATH.
jay merritt
queen creek, arizona
...Karen and I will be married 40 years next January 24. God's word is about relationships. The greatest relationships a living being can have is with God, spouse, family and church. We were taught from infancy--"One man, one woman for life". We were modeled the importance and sanctity of the marriage vows-they are serious and have spiritual meaning. We have parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles that were married over 50 years. Divorce is rare in our families. We were taught that our worth depended on God - not what man
counts as worth, to talk it out, COMMUNICATE (sometimes a good heated
discussion clears the air)!!! It is WORK 24 hrs a day to make a marriage
work. We have experienced the difficult times with all the same things
married people have difficulty with today: money, human sexuality, in-laws,
children, jobs, priorities, etc. We have always tried to take care of our
spiritual lives (that is the easiest to put on the back burner!!!). We
strive to live consistent before our children, believe the importance that
they know we love God and that "Papa love Mama" and "Mama loves Papa". I
believe that Promise Keepers is a good tool to refocus mankind's mind on
God's order and what is important in life. So, I don't want to keep
anything that is trying to focus mankind's mind on spiritual things, from
being successful. Things that have helped us in our marriage are: Bible
study is very important and live by the insights we gain from that study,
prayer is a constant part of life, support groups of church members,
seminars: Breechen & Faulkner, Marriage Encounter, Cunningham & Dye, etc.
Each of us have given 100% and then more to the marriage relationship, have
loved unconditionally (not I love you if or but, etc.), loved the strengths
of each, helped each with our "warts", worship, walk, talk, socialize and
enjoy our days together, etc. We encourage each to love God from a pure
heart and in trust do the teachings of Jesus so we each can have the
assurance of salvation.
Tom Byrd
I have a Promise Keeper's success story from a wife's perspective...
On Saturday, at the Stand in the Gap rally, my husband committed his
life to Christ! I have been praying for him intensely since we were
married in 1993. I've seen him grow in his understanding and love of
God -- but it was during the Promise Keeper's rally, a time in which
hundreds of thousands of men were praying to God and asking for His
forgiveness, that my husband also committed his life to Christ.
Tonight, he will make his confession public by participating in the
death, burial, and resurrection of Christ through baptism. Praise God!
I have much to be thankful for, and October 4 will always be a special
and precious day for my husband and me!
Melissa Taylor
Baltimore, Maryland
FROM THE E-MAILBAG
Promise Keepers Success Stories
NEXT WEEK'S FEATURE ARTICLE: " IT'S 'HOW' NOT 'WHAT' THAT
MAKES THE DIFFERENCE IN MARITAL CONFLICT "
If you have questions about marriage and family relationships, you can
"ASK THE COUNSELOR." Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her
address is mikalfraz@aol.com