CONTENTS

• JUST VISITING-
• FEATURE ARTICLE: "God Knew What He Was Doing"
• IF I WERE FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT, I WOULD....
  THE CHRIST-CENTERED WIFE
  What Do You Say When You Talk To Yourself?
  (Part 1)
  by Mikal Frazier
  

JUST VISITING

We have just returned home from a family gathering over the Thanksgiving holidays. Twenty of us gathered at the home of Ann's sister. Everyone talked at the same time. Amazingly enough, some people knew what was going on in all the conversations. It was wonderful. I enjoy family gatherings like that. We say things like, "Your pecan pie was out of this world," "Looks like you've lost some weight since last year," "I hear you've got a new job." Of course there was speculation about whether the football coach for the Dallas Cowboys and the head coach for the University of Texas are going to keep their jobs. Most of us thought they wouldn't. But that wasn't really what the gathering was about. The gathering was a celebration of family. Such gatherings enable us to feel a sense of belonging and connectedness.

This will be the last newsletter issued from Minden, Louisiana. As I have been telling you, I'm looking forward to beginning a new full time ministry to families in Shreveport this week. You won't notice a great deal of change. Mikal will still be contributing her thoughtful essays. Although we won't be living in the same town anymore, she will only be thirty miles away and through the miracle of e-mail, we can be in touch anytime we need to talk.

Mikal is nearing the end of her series on "The Spirit Filled Wife." I'm hoping she'll publish it in a book very soon. It's amazing how this series developed. I wrote a column concerning the way husbands ought to treat their wives. Someone wrote and asked me to do one on how wives ought to treat their husbands. As I recall it was a man who asked me to do that. It figures doesn't it? I decided I'd rather face a den of cobras than take on that task, so I asked Mikal if she would write an article about the way wives ought to treat their husbands. Nearly a year later, she's still writing and we're all blessed by the things she has said.

Norman

by Norman Bales

A few hours before I sat down to write this column, I ate breakfast with a group of people who assembled to talk about agriculture.. I expected to hear conversation about animal husbandry, agribusiness issues, crop production, etc. Some of the conversation concerned those subjects, but imagine my surprise when I heard the chancellor of our state's top agricultural university discuss families. He spoke of fielding questions from legislators who are asking home economists to address parenting concerns.

Families are essential to the stability of society. It affects agriculture, the armed services, corporations, factories and the corner grocery store. Anti family advocates protest, "How a person behaves in his family doesn't have anything to do with his job." Are you sure? If a guy cheats on his wife; how can you be sure he won't cheat the company? If Dad and Mom don't provide a moral compass through responsible living and loving discipline, where will a child find structure in life?

Family antagonists like to cite case histories of abuse in dysfunctional families. Sometimes they tell us about a never married single Mom who raised a responsible child. Well, I know some kids who turned out pretty well despite their raising. I can also cite case histories of sick two parent families. The evidence, however, suggests children are far better prepared for adulthood when they grow up in two parent families. Recent evidence points to the fact that children raised by a never married parent tend to live in an environment of poverty and ignorance. According to the census bureau, the median income for a never married mother in the U.S.A. is under $10,000 a year. Fifty-nine per cent of them are unemployed and nearly 40 per cent don't finish high school. If we think children don't need devoted, loving parents, who are married to each other, we need to get our heads out of the sand.

Maggie Gallagaher, a columnist for New York's Newsday, put her finger on the problem that threatens families and the fabric of society. She cites, "Too many kids born to fatherless families. Too many mothers struggling to raise kids without a loving husband. Too many parents pushed by economic and cultural pressures to devote their best energies to corporations rather than kids." ("All in the Family" - United Press Syndicate, August 7, 1997). That's why the university chancellor is concerned about families. To me, it confirms the fact that God knew what he was doing when he invented the family. There's no way to improve on his plan.

Norman's e-mail address: nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org