BEING "FATHER" MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE
by Norman Bales
I never wanted my children to call me, "Father." I'm perfectly
comfortable with "Dad" and "Daddy," but "Father" intimidates me. I
don't want to be called "The Old Man" regardless of how affectionately
that tag might be intended. I'm "Dad" to my children and "Grandy" to
my grandchildren.
I like "Dad" because in my mind it expresses both affection and
respect. I don't want my children to regard me as one of their peers,
a kind of casual pal, a chum who becomes a partner in planning
mischief. Buddies assist in the building of tree houses, know the
secret code which grants admission to an exclusive club of cronies,
and conspire to circumvent the rules laid down by humorless adults.
I never thought my children needed a middle aged buddy.
On the other hand, I really didn't want to be "Father." (I accept the
fact that I am "a father"; I just don't want to be recognized as
"Father" if that makes any sense.) Father is the most intimate term
that we use to describe the first person of the Godhead. I don't
like being compared to Him. I have always been a little concerned
that my children might think of God as an extension of me and that
would certainly distort their concept of God.
There are many ways that I should strive to emulate the fatherhood of
God. God is merciful to his children (Psalm 103:13) and so should I
be. God continues to love his children when they are wayward and so
should I (2 Samuel 7:14-15). God disciplines and chastens; I owe my
children the same blessing (Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:9- 10).
There are many ways, however, in which I do not share common ground
with our Heavenly Father. God is to be worshipped (John 4:24); I am
not. God always does the right thing (Genesis 18:25); I am morally
flawed. God has the right and responsibility of final, irrevocable
judgment; I do not. (Malachi 3:5; Romans 14:10). That's why I'm
uncomfortable being called "Father."
Several years ago Charlie Shedd gave some good advice to Dads who are
serious about teaching God's ways to their children. He suggested
that we ought to emphasize how different God's fatherhood is from our
own practice of fatherhood. You can do that when you're "Dad"; it's
much tougher when you try to be "Father."
WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING
ABOUT TEACHING MORALITY TO CHILDREN
"For children to take morality seriously, they must see adults take
morality seriously." - William J. Bennett
ABOUT THE BLESSINGS OF FATHERHOOD
"No man can possibly know what life means, what the world means, what
anything means, until he has a child and loves it. And then the whole
universe changes and nothing will ever again seem exactly as it seemed
before." - Tim LaHaye
ABOUT SUBMISSION
"If a man exercised his authority in the way it is outlined in the
Bible, a woman would not resent it. She would find herself served.
She would find her needs met. She would have her say, be able to
exercise her gifts, not be pushed back and ignored and treated like s
second-class citizen. God's design for marriage is for husbands to
love their wives as Christ loved the church and for wives to respect
their husbands. Christ loved the church enough to die for it, and that
kind of love is worthy of respect."
-Mike Singletary.
NEXT WEEK'S FEATURE STUDY OUTLINE "HEALING NEGATIVE MEMORIES"
