CONTENTS:
JUST VISITING
Vic Phares, our daring and resourceful tech manager, tells me that we are approaching the 500 mark in subscriptions. This is remarkable when you consider the fact that we started out just six months ago with about a hundred names of people who received the newsletter on a trial basis.Occasionally, we get letters asking us about subscription costs. There is no subscription cost nor will there ever be. This newsletter is a ministry of the Minden Church of Christ. If we ever reach the point, where we are unable to send it out without cost to you, we will terminate the newsletter. We simply want to help families and we make no secret of the fact that we believe a solid, committed relationship to Jesus Christ provides us with the most practical and lasting avenue to family growth. We accept the Bible as the inspired word of God and while the Bible was not designed as a marriage and family manual, it's precepts and principles that relate to family living are both true and workable. We enjoy this aspect of our ministry and we appreciate, so many of you, who have written to say that it has been a help in your own families.
TECH PROBLEMS:
Occasionally, some of you experience problems in getting our newsletters. Some have gotten headings with no message and there have been other glitches. Please let us know when this occurs, but its best not to contact me. My knowledge of tech stuff in computers in somewhat like my daughter's knowledge of a car. She knows how to put the key in the ignition and put gasoline in the tank. I know how to turn a computer on and type a message in. When you get too far beyond that, I get lost pretty fast. So, here's what I'm suggesting
If you have questions or comments about the content of the
newsletters, contact me (Norman Bales). My address is
nlbales@prysm.net. If something gets fouled up in the technical
process, you need a computer guru and that would be Vic Phares. You
can communicate with Vic at mcoc@softdisk.com. You will also need
to use that address if you want to communicate with us concerning
changes of address, to subscribe or unsubscribe. Thanks.
Norman
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH JEALOUSY IN THE HOME
by Norman Bales"Tell me what he's got that I ain't got." The lyrics of a mostly forgettable country song expose the raw bitterness of human jealousy. In terms of sheer destructive potential, jealousy poses a greater threat to peaceful relationships at home than just about any passion you can name. Jealousy gives birth to suspicion, envy, anxiety and even paranoia. Charles Caleb Colton once said, "Of all the passions, jealousy is that which exacts the hardest service and pays the bitterest wages."
Jealousy has been called the "green eyed monster," a label we picked up in the writings of the brilliant bard from Stratford-on-Avon, William Shakespeare. In Othello, Iago is heard to say, "O! beware my lord, of jealously; It is the green-eye'd monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on." Apparently Shakespeare believed that green eyed cats make fun of their food. According to another theory, he was talking about crocodiles. Either way he was saying that jealousy mocks its victim by loving it and hating it at the same time.
No wonder the Bible addresses the subject of jealousy in negative terms. In 1 Corinthians 3:3, Paul writes, "For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly?" In Romans 13:13, jealousy is put in the same category with orgies, drunkenness, sexual immorality and debauchery.
How can we overcome such a destructive emotion? Quite obviously just saying, "I'm not going to be jealous anymore," is not going to do the trick. The best place to start is by trying to figure out why you are jealous. Most people never analyze their feelings; they just react. When you really stop to think about it, was the action of the other party really all that threatening? Could it be that your pain was caused by something that happened a long time ago and the current circumstances just reminded you of the hurt? It's amazing how many times our jealous feelings subside when we reason with our heads instead of our emotions.
A jealous person is not easy to live with. Relationships flourish in an atmosphere of trust and confidence. If you want love to grow, give the other person the benefit of the doubt. We would all do well to remember the wisdom of William Penn, "The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves."
COMMENTS FROM OUR READERS
" I really enjoyed this week's newsletter. I am making it my life's work to study human behavior and communication. Your newsletter is really good.""Keep up the good work, the issues you talk about are inspirational and right on the money."
"Thank you so much for Vol. 1, # 22. It was an inspiration. My wife, Ruth and I served as missionaries in India and Bangladesh for 31 years and, but for the Grace of God, we never could have stayed together. No woman, without a close relationship with Jesus, ever would have lived with a man like me who took our family into extremely difficult and dangerous areas. I had a term in an Indian jail on a trumped up charge. We lived in a tiny thatched roof mud hut in a jungle infested by bandits and but for the Grace of God, my wife would have left me."
NEXT WEEK'S FEATURE ARTICLE: "Relationship Hunger"