CONTENTS

• Just Visiting
• Goals for Marriage
• From the E-Mail Bag
  Comments on culture and family values

JUST VISITING

http://www.mindchurch.org/pal

I am privileged to serve with Jim Frazier, Howard Norton and Dan Coker on the planning committee for the lectureships. We look forward to this annual spiritual feast.

Speaking of addresses, we've got a new Website address. We now have our own domain, which makes our address much easier to remember and tell people about. If you visit our Websites, please use the following addresses

Minden Church of Christ Home Page
http://www.mindchurch.org

All About Families Home Page (This is where you will find the back issues of all our previous newsletters)
http://www.allaboutfamilies.org

Recently Ann and I sat down to discuss goals for our marriage. Our next anniversary will be our thirty-seventh, so why are we talking about goals at this point in our relationship? For one thing, we have already realized many of our goals. We have successfully raised four children to adulthood. Three of them have college degrees. All four have good jobs. We have achieved many of our long term goals, so, it's time to refocus. Some people might say, "You've completed your primary task. Why not just coast for awhile?"

There are several reason why we don't want to coast. For one thing, much of the happiness we have known in our family has occurred during the process of struggling to reach our goals. It's also clear to me that when I stop pursuing goals, I become emotionally lazy. If I'm not investing time and energy to reach some kind of worthwhile objective, I'm no longer interested in making a difference in the lives of people. I end up going with the flow of events and circumstances. Instead of being a positive influence on others, I become vulnerable to the persuasion of those who may not always have honorable intentions. Worst of all, relationships suffer and the one that suffers most is the relationship with my spouse.

But are there any new mountains to climb after thirty-seven years of marriage? Ann and I know one another so well that we can sometimes anticipate the thoughts and desires of each other. She's a fairly good mind reader. At breakfast time, she knows when I want a second piece of toast before I even ask for it. When you know one another that well, it's easy to take each other for granted. The first thing you know, words of appreciation, expressions of kindness and gestures of romance become a thing of the past. Nothing jars me out of my emotional laziness any quicker than hearing the lyrics of an old Barbara Streisand song, "You don't bring me flowers, anymore."

So we sat down and had a long talk about future goals, dreams and plans. Is there still life for a marriage after 37 years? You bet. We've got so many things cooking, we probably won't live long enough to realize all our dreams. But that's all right. We've got a target to aim for. I'm reminded of something the apostle Paul said about his relationship to the Lord. He decided to forget what is behind and focus his concern on what lies ahead (Philippians 3:13). That also works in a marriage, no matter how many years you've been at it.

Comments on Cultural Values

"Hi Norman,

As a missionary in Africa, I fully understand the pressures that other communities, ideologies and religions can bring to bear against a Christian. The Moslem religion is rampant in this part of the world, and if one were to go "boldly proclaiming" - that is preaching on the street corner, one might risk persecution from militant members of the Moslem faith. We, however, make a difference in the lives of people, and thus win some for the Lord.

I am encouraged by your mature outlook in the face or criticism. Satan does not attack someone who is no threat to him. He only attacks those who are a threat to him. Clearly Satan views your work on the family as a threat to his world plan. Take heart that you are considered worthy to "suffer" for the cause of Christ. Stand firm in the Lord!"

Craig Smoothey cosmos@arcc.or.ke missionary in Kenya

"Dear Mr. Bales,

I read your article FAMILY VALUES DISCUSSION. I want to share with you that I am not in a northamerican culture, but Biblical Family Values have a great relevance to me. The biblical values are not from north american origin, but from God. When God sent His message to the world the USA did not exist. It is sad that many people confuse biblical values with northamerican culture. In some respects they are similar, but in others they are very different. We follow the biblical family values in our lives and we are a very happy family. We praise the Lord for His word and because he designed His message for all people and cultures. We are not north american, but we are raising our children according to the Bible teachings. We hope all people, in USA and all the world recognize the lordship of Jesus Christ, repent and be baptized because Christ is the only hope all cultures have to be really free.
God bless you richly,"
Rafael Serrano and Family. raserran@colomsat.net.co
Santafe de Bogota, D.C., Colombia, South America.

" I've got a Saudi Arabian officer and a Latvian officer here in CGSC. Their views on family and values virtually mirror Biblical principles. They are not just Biblical principles. After several thousand years, they have been proven to be truth. "

Elliott

WEBales@aol.com

The defense rests. - Norman

NEXT WEEK'S FEATURE ARTICLE: "The Importance of Steadfastness"