CONTENTS
- Just Visiting
- The Importance of Steadfastness
- Mikal's Morsels and Bytes for the Family
Fathers, They Are Not Expendable - Tech Note
JUST VISITING
During my boyhood, I spent my summers working in a West Texas cotton field. When I think about the international scope of our newsletter and the fact that it makes its way into many urban settings, I'm a little nervous about drawing an illustration from the cotton field. Even so, I think everyone will be able to understand the point I'm about to make.Most of the time was spent in hoeing. The days were long and hot and by the time the sun began to fall toward the western horizon, I would be exhausted. Sometimes, I would beg my father to let me quit. He would calmly respond. "Norman, you've got to hoe your row on out to the end." I learned a valuable lesson in the cotton field, the importance of sticking with a task until it is done.
I'm greatly disturbed at the rate of family breakdown. Paul Faulkner says marriage is like chewing gum for many people. They stay with it until the sweetness is gone and discard it. Today's study material emphasizes the importance of steadfastness. We need to learn how to stay with everything that's good, right and wholesome. We need to resist the temptation to give up on our families when the "sweetness is gone."
Mikal wants to share some of her thoughts about fathers. Human fathers are not like drones in a beehive, who lose their usefulness once they have contributed toward procreation. I think her article fits like a hand in a glove with the study on steadfastness. She makes practical application of the point I'm trying to make.
THE IMPORTANCE OF
STEADFASTNESS
INTRODUCTION
A few years go Tom Clancy came out with a book called, Red Storm Rising. In the book Clancy wrote a fictional account of how World War III might be fought if such a war were to be limited to conventional weapons. One of the main characters of the book, is named Edward Morris. Morris was the captain of a frigate which was attacked by a submarine. He lost his executive officer and several other men. Upon returning to Norfolk, Virginia, it became his responsibility to console the families of the men who were lost. His inability to comfort those families turned his life into a nightmare, because he felt responsible for their deaths. Later on in the book, he met an older pilot who lost men under similar circumstances in Vietnam. And the pilot says, "They didn't do anything in your training to prepare you for that did they?"That's the way it is sometimes in life. We get into jobs and take on responsibilities with very little preparation. Most of us received very little instruction to prepare us for the pressures of marriage and family. How many classes did you take on "How to be a good wife or husband? father or mother?"
We all face challenges in life that require more resources than we think we have. When you're dealing with matters that really count, things like your responsibility to God, family responsibilities and moral standings, I want to encourage you to adopt an attitude of steadfastness. Our struggle against all kinds of obstacles is usually won or lost within our own minds. Our attitude toward the responsibilities that God has given in all of life's circumstances is pretty well summed up in 1 Corinthians 15:58. "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." In that verse the admonition is directed toward our attitude. Paul asks us to be determined. He's saying there is a time to dig your heels in the ground, stand toe to toe with the devil and say "you shall not pass." It's a time to persevere, to stiffen your upper lip, bow your neck and involve yourself in the challenge at hand.
CONSIDERATION OF THE PRESSURES WE FACE
That' easy enough to say, while I'm sitting in front of a computer screen and really faced with a challenge no greater than finding the right keys to punch on the keyboard. But sometimes the challenge to remain steadfast looks like a horse of a different color in the market place, the work place and even within the four walls of the place we call home. There's a lot of hurt going on in the world around us and Christians aren't exempt from the pain. Anybody who tells you otherwise is not telling you the truth. In fact the Bible indicates, that we have some additional pressures because we are Christians. In II Corinthians 4:8-9, Paul says "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed, perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed."We must realize that being hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted and struck down are normal conditions. I spent about half my life in cold weather areas of the United States (Iowa, Kansas, New York). Sub zero temperatures in January and February were not unusual. During those years, I gained some surprising insights about the Northerners. They like to complain about the weather, but they resent a Texan who moves to their part of the country and does the same thing.
They always talk about leaving and moving South, but most don't. Most of those who do move to Florida, the Rio Grande Valley of Texas or Arizona, end up going back to the Rust Belt a few years after they move South. By and large they discover they are hardy and resourceful people who know how to cope with snow and ice, but they don't know who to cope with the problems they discover in the Sun Belt.
When you understand that being hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted or struck down are just as normal as sub zero temperatures in the North, then you also know those conditions aren't going to defeat you and you'll make your plans to stick it out just like most residents of the North last through the winter.
FLAWED THINKING AMONG CHRISTIANS
Unfortunately the thinking of some Christians is flawed at this point. There are some who believe that becoming a Christian means that all your problems get solved. The Bible never says that. The Bible promises that we'll become new creatures. The Bible promises that we can overcome our problems through faith in God. I John 5:2, says "This is the victory that overcomes the world even our faith," but it never says things won't get tough.Some time ago, I listened to one of James Dobson's shows on the radio. He interviewed a man whose brother had died of AIDS. Dobson had planned to have the AIDS sufferer on the program, but he died before they could make the arrangements. The surviving brother reported that the attitude of the man who died of AIDS was something like this. God forgave the sin that caused AIDS, but the AIDS disease itself did not forgive him. That can be extended out to any number of problems that complicate our lives.
There are some who believe that you are unspiritual if you have problems. People who think that need to go back and read about Job. God said, "I have no man like him," and yet he had more problems than most of us ever dream about. Or look at Jeremiah and Amos. They had problems because they spoke the word of the Lord.
Some think that faithfulness to God guarantees a happy home life. If you think that, you need to read the book of Hosea. At the command of God, Hosea took an adulterous wife, who bore him children and left him. Years later he bought her back at the slave market. Hosea saw the nation of Israel mirrored in his unhappy home life. His sad domestic situation was not the result of unfaithfulness to God on Hosea's part.
Or look at Paul. Have you ever read about a more lonely man than Paul in his description of his feelings in II Timothy 4. In verse 6 he said, "I am poured out like a drink offering." That's a little bit like saying, "I feel like I've been used." In verse 10, he said, "Demas, because he loved this world, deserted me." In verse 14, he said, "Alexander, the metalworker did me much harm." And he didn't exactly have kind feelings toward Alexander, because the next thing he said was, "The Lord will repay him for what he has done." In verse 16 "At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them."
Are we going to say that Paul was lacking in spirituality because he felt used, deserted and mistreated by others to the point that he wanted God to get back at them and felt so sorry for himself that he thought he was abandoned? No, you wouldn't say Paul was unspiritual because it's in that same chapter that he says, "I've fought the good fight. I've kept the faith." In that chapter, he also said, "The Lord stood by my side and gave me strength." It's in that same chapter that he said, "The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever." Those sound like the words of a spiritual giant and they are, but he wasn't a man without problems and feelings of discouragement.
HOW DO WE MAINTAIN OUR STEADFASTNESS
How then do we persevere in the face of trial? It starts out with a decision of the will. You persevere because you decide to. That makes all the difference in the world. Paul would not have said "always give yourself to the work of the Lord" if it were impossible to do so.Jesus said in John 15:5, "I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing." Now, I'm not sure any of us fully comprehend the magnitude of what Jesus is promising. Remain in me, and I'll remain in you and you'll bear fruit. Bearing fruit here is not evangelistic success. I've heard people say the fruit of a Christian is a another Christian. The Bible doesn't say that. That may be the result of fruitbearing, but the fruit of the spirit according to Galatians 5:22 is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control." Those things go a long way toward helping us cope with the various trials that we have and even toward making positive things happen out of those trials, including evangelistic success sometimes. But the key insofar as we are concerned in remaining in Christ.
Sometimes we sing, "I have decided to follow Jesus." When you make that decision and you anchor it in concrete, you commit yourself to a faithfulness regardless of the pressures. You may end up saying with Paul, "I've been hard pressed, but I'm not crushed. I've been perplexed, but I'm not in despair. I've been persecuted but I'm not abandoned. I've been struck down, but I'm not destroyed." It's the people who persevere against the pressures who receive the crown of life.
CONCLUSION
God has promised us rich resources. Jesus said, "I'll abide with you." He said, "I'll live in you." What else do we need? Only the determination to remain in Christ, no matter what. Only the willingness to involve ourselves in the work of the Lord. Only the assurance that our labor in the Lord is not in vain. Only the unwavering belief that our families are precious and we will stay with the family even when the ride is rough.Make no mistake about it. All of us are called upon in this life to deal with problems that we really weren't prepared to deal with, but those problems need not shake our confidence or shatter our faith. Some of you bear heavy burdens. I'm well aware of that. I'm also aware of the fact that I haven't walked in everybody's shoes, but I can tell you from the promises of the word of God and from my own experience in living that if you decide to follow Jesus no matter what, and if you abide in him, you'll be able to cope. You'll not only be able to cope. You'll be able to bear fruit.
Mikal's Morsels and Bytes for the Family
FATHERS,
THEY ARE NOT EXPENDABLE
Thus, the Roman Empire, in the days before Constantine the Great, kept its people healthy and fit. If the baby was not found pleasing by the head of the extended family, the paterfamilias, then the child would be left "exposed," an acceptable form of infanticide. Sounds barbaric doesn't it?
Though that was another place and another time, Fathers, you wield just as great an influence on the lives of your offspring in our world today. The message of worth and acceptance you give your children throughout your mutual lifetimes literally paints their future, and often does determine life or death. An article in a 1995 issue of U.S. News & World Report states, "Dad is destiny."
If "Dad is destiny" then the following numbers should signal a resounding alarm. Today in America 18 million children live in fatherless homes reports a recent 20/20 program. That is more than one in three without "Dad." The U.S. News article reports only one in six of these children sees his father once a week, and this turns out to be a "treat dad,.... not a father to offer constant guidance and discipline."
Study after study confirms the importance of "Dad" to his children. Without Dad in the home, the 20/20 program reveals, children are more likely to fail in school, boys are more likely to commit crimes, and girls are more likely to become pregnant teenagers. Dad's absence can even lower IQ scores.
Outspoken leader in family therapy, Frank Pittman, says children raised without Father in the home have a five times higher divorce rate, five times higher suicide rate, are four to five times as likely to experience lifelong depression, and further, boys raised without fathers are twelve times as likely to be imprisoned for violent crimes.
Dads, leaving the fathering to Mother does not work. Dr. David Popenoe, professor of sociology at Rutgers University says "Unlike the workplace, family organization is based on very real biological differences between men and women. The sexes are not interchangeable in childcare."
When a father leaves the home, not only the child bears a limp forevermore, but so does the dad. Judith Wallerstein, author of some of the most comprehensive research on children and broken families, concludes that divorce and separation from his children block a father developmentally. A separated father loses his sense of purpose and direction. Fathers, she says, "cannot grow up into fully mature men outside the structure of the family."
I have had fathers in the process of leaving their families due to a frivolous distraction tell me, "I love my children more than life." Dads, talk is REAL cheap. Your absence in the home feels like rejection to your child. Your words and actions must agree with your heart.
TECH NOTE
God has continued to bless us and more people have been sharing this newsletter with their friends on the Net. As the number of subscribers has grown it has become harder for me to handle via my personal computer alone. So we asked for help from one of Abilene Christian University's Computer Gurus and he has graciously agreed to help.
So now you will see this newsletter coming from "AAF@BIBLE.ACU.EDU" and each of you has received a "Welcome Message" from ACU's ListServ software. If you choose to leave the list you will receive another message from ACU's ListServ. Please don't be confused by this. We are still the same people who have been bringing you this newsletter for the last 42 weeks. Our approach will remain the same. The only difference is the address on the label. Norman is still the editor and I remain the "tech guy". I will still maintain the subscriber list but it be housed at ACU instead of my personal computer.
NEXT WEEK'S FEATURE ARTICLE: "Married People Must Learn to Forgive"