All About Families, January 13, 1996


	Volume 1 Number 51 January 13, 1996 Norman Bales, Editor CONTENTS Just Visiting Celebrate the Joy of Marriage by Stephen Teel Prayer Request for Ralph Payne Just Visiting Ann and I recently celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe those years have flown by so quickly. We had some rocky years early on and we've had to work hard at building our relationship, but we do not merely tolerate one another. We truly enjoy each other's company. She is the very best friend I have in this entire world. I have known people to stay married over many years solely out of a sense of duty. I admire their sense of honor and loyalty, but marriage was meant to be fulfilling. Today, we share another fine article from the pen of Stephen Teel. Stephen writes about celebrating the joy of marriage. His message is a direct, no-holds barred approach to what celebration in marriage is all about. Norman Celebrate The Joy of Marriage by Stephen Teel FOCUS Man is the only created being on earth who celebrates. Genuine celebration occurs when we sense our own wholeness, our wholeness in our relationships both to God and to our fellowman. We are called by God to celebrate life in its fullest - and especially in our marriages. We will look at three areas which can help us celebrate our marriages. KEY INGREDIENTS. What are those things which keep one rejoicing and excited about the love relationship in marriage? SEX AS CELEBRATION. When sexuality is properly seen in the whole of life, it becomes a dimension of man's celebration of life in God. ENHANCING CELEBRATION. What can we do to reignite the thrill? KEY INGREDIENTS The pressures of parenting, education, careers and aging parents dilute and detour the initial joys one experienced in marriage. Let's consider some key ingredients to keep us celebrating which Carole Mayhall (Today's Christian Woman, Jan/Feb. 1993, pg. 28-30) suggests: FAITH. God is the SuperGlue that holds two people together and in love. In the beginning, Gen. 2:18 and down through time God has desired to bless man and woman with the joy that can only be found in marriage. FRIENDSHIP. Be the president of your spouse's fan club. "Rejoice with those who rejoice", Romans 12:15, applies specially to your mate and his/hers recognition at the civic club, appointment as a deacon, college graduation, etc. CONFLICT RESOLUTION. As partners we should work toward a mutually satisfying solution. When one begins to compete to win the argument, both lose. Marriage is a team sport - a tag team, not a contest where the winner takes all. FIDELITY. It is an essential foundation to happiness and bliss, not just a desirable option. When 100 happily married couples were interviewed, they considered faithfulness to their mate the "of course" of marriage. Matthew 19:1-9. COMMUNICATION. The sharing of thoughts and feelings, which go beyond superficial talk, is one of the quickest ways to achieve genuine intimacy. Important is the acceptance of the other's differences and abolishing fears of rejection. SEX AS CELEBRATION Paul directs us "to honor (glorify) God in your body," 1 Corinthians 6:20. This statement is found in a section which covers numerous misunderstandings that Christians had about their sexuality. They, like ourselves, needed to remember that the sexual union in marriage is a celebration. We will consider some thoughts taken from Dwight Small's book, Christian Celebrate Your Sexuality. APPROVED BY GOD. The human body and sexuality were designed by God and are therefore good. Still some Christians have a vague feeling that He doesn't approve of it. Such only robs one of intended joy. It would follow that "to honor and glorify God in one's body", would include among other things, one's sexuality. Sex as celebration in marriage is honoring God's good gifts and His gracious purposes for us. ELEVATED ABOVE ORDINARINESS. The eroding effects of familiarity and repetition can be avoided when viewed as celebration. The Jewish celebrations, such as Passover, were vivid recollections of events and things highly valued in their history. Sexual celebration is a recurrent union which reminds of one's martial commitment to each other 'until death you do part.' BOUND TOGETHER IN UNITY. "As husband and wife are called back to the recollection that they are bound together in a unity of life, so too are they reminded that together they are bound in in a unity of life in God through Jesus Christ." Paul's directive emphasizes this thought, "Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church...." Ephesians 5:25. ENHANCING CELEBRATION Sometimes one does not feel like celebrating. As wage-earners, scrubbers of toilets, den mothers, and corporate managers it is difficult to shift gears and kick into our sexual identities. Demands of family and job make it hard to think of his or her needs. Consider these practical suggestions from Elizabeth Newenhuyse (Discipleship Journal, Jul/Aug 1991, pg. 33-34) which can flame the fire of marital bliss. COMMUNICATE as frequently as possible, using touch and affection when appropriate. GO TO BED earlier. DON'T FEEL PERSONALLY REJECTED when she/he does not feel 'in the mood.' SHAREemotions openly--laugh and cry together. PULL OUT THE PHOTO ALBUM and reminisce about the excitement and joy of courtship. In the fast pace world of jobs and kid's ball practice, REALIZE THAT MARITAL BLISS does not always have to be spontaneous. Marital sexuality GOES FAR BEYOND the physical act. Stephen Teel ministers with the University Church of Christ; 3605 DeSiard; P. O. Box 4272; Monroe, LA 71211 (318)343-3319/343-9877. If you have questions about marriage and family relationships you can "ASK THE COUNSELOR." We will select questions to be answered in the newsletter. Address your questions to Mikal Frazier. Her address is mikalfraz@aol.com Prayer Request for Ralph Payne Ralph Payne is a young friend of mine, who desperately needs your prayers. Medical experts say Ralph urgently needs a liver transplant. Nearly four years ago, he underwent surgery, at which time it was discovered that his liver does not function properly. He was placed on the transplant list at that time. Ralph has never abused his body. As a matter of fact, until recently he has competed in marathons, half- marathons and triathalons. The doctors advised him to continue his running regimen, thinking that he would be able to handle the transplant surgery much better if he were in top condition. Ralph trained vigorously and did so well that he was taken off the transplant list. Recently his condition has deteriorated severely to the point that it affects his ability to carry on normal activities. His condition is very serious at this moment and he still awaits a healthy liver that can be transplanted into his body. Ralph and his wife Donna are some of the finest people I'm privileged to know. They have three precious young daughters, who need their father. Until recently, he headed up our youth and family ministry at the Minden church. Last week, his health forced him to give it up. We need him, but the need of his family and the need to preserve his health is far greater than our need. It's difficult to know how to pray for someone who needs a transplant. We know that the donor will die; that pain, heartache and a deep sense of loss will come to one family, even as another is blessed. We also know that death occurs every day in the course of human events. We want to keep the potential donor and the donor's family in mind as we pray. Perhaps God will see fit to grant health to Ralph without the transplant. We don't plan to limit God. On Monday, January 12, we are going to fast and pray for Ralph. At 7:00 P. M (CST), we will be gathering here in Minden, Louisiana to pray for Ralph. We would like to invite you to join us in prayer, where ever you may be to pray for Ralph Payne and his family. If you'd like to send a card to encourage he and Donna, you can send it by snail mail to Ralph Payne: 709 Elm St; Minden, LA 71055. If you want to send it an e-mail message, send it to me nlbales@prysm.net or nlbales@juno.com. I'll be glad to see that he gets your message. Norman