Perceptions #200201

"DISAGREEING WITHOUT BEING DISAGREEABLE"

by Monroe Hawley

An art in which few are proficient is the ability to agree without being disagreeable.

In certain fields such as politics and religion men have a hard time remaining friends when their views clash sharply. Too often an honest difference of opinion leads each disputant to conclude that the other lacks in integrity, honesty or intelligence. The issue is lost amidst a torrent of invectives or insinuations.

Here are some practical suggestions for discussing without being disagreeable:

1. Resolve that your discussion will not adversely affect your friendship even if it ends in disagreement.
2. Grant the other person's honesty and sincerity.
3. Acknowledge the other person's intelligence.
4. Try to understand his point of view. You may be closer than you think.
5. Discuss your differences in love.
6. When you start arguing instead of discussing, stop until you have cooled off.
7. If the other person becomes angry, don't do the same.
8. Make truth rather than victory your objective.
9. Don't be afraid to admit you are wrong, even partially.
10. Accept constructive criticism, rather than letting it anger you.
11. Above all, act, speak, and think as a Christian.

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