Perceptions #27

"One Man's Betrayal?"

by Rod Regier

John* got his girlfriend, Rebecca*, pregnant during their first year of college. They thought they were mature enough to have sex, but they weren't ready for the responsibility that comes with marriage and being parents. They were ashamed and afraid to tell anyone, especially their parents.

They thought they could avoid that embarrassment by having an abortion. Rebecca wanted to do it. John wasn't so sure: "My friends and I thought abortion was murder. We were hard-core pro-lifers."

John grew up in the Christian church. He lived a pretty good life, and he knew premarital sex was wrong, but he "found ways to justify it: 'We're in love. We'll probably even get married someday. We'll be careful.' Being the big 'man' that I was, I agreed to my girlfriend's suggestion [abortion] in about two seconds. I totally wimped out. Marriage and adoption were hardly even a consideration."

The decision was not without shame, guilt, and depression.

"We checked into the clinic and my girlfriend went back with a nurse. There I was in the waiting room reading magazines while our little, defenseless baby was ripped from Rebecca's womb. I sat there and did nothing," confesses John, now amazed at his indifference. "I betrayed my girlfriend, and I betrayed my child."

John has since asked God to forgive him, but the memories still haunt him. "It ruined me inside. It's weird," reflects John, "to think that I should have a nine-year-old son or daughter. It's depressing to think about how I let my child down. If your own dad won't protect you, who will?"

Many voices in our culture tell us that abortion is okay. Powerful forces in our government say it's legal. But that doesn't make it right.

John's advice for you guys out there that think sex doesn't have consequences: "Think again. There are responsibilities that come with being a man, especially in relationships with women and children. A real man - a Godly man - waits until he's married."

· Names in this story have been changed for the privacy of those involved.

This article originally appeared in Ideas and Energy in January 1999, a publication of the Family Research Council in Washington, D.C. All rights reserved. Used by permission. You can find other interesting information about families at their website. www.frc.org

nlbales@allaboutfamilies.org

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