Perceptions #44

SUNDAES AND CHERRIES

by Norman Bales

Loving can be a very complicated business. Anyone who takes the golden rule seriously has learned that it sometimes seems to backfire. One can lend a helping hand with all the best intentions in the world and end up pulling back a bloody stump. Some people seem to make it their business to take advantage of the charitable nature of Christians. Others are so engulfed by cynicism that they construe compassion as manipulation. For whatever reasons, there are some people who refuse to accept help when it is offered.

When love is offered and no appreciation is shown in return one is tempted to say, "Well if that's the way it is, I'll just mind my own business and forget about helping people. At least you don't get hurt that way."

We have to learn to derive joy just from knowing that we have behaved lovingly toward other people regardless of their response. To be sure, ingratitude is a little tough to handle, but we need to remember that Scripture teaches us, "If your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he is thirsty, give him something to drink." (Romans 12:20)

Our joy must come from knowing that we have walked in the footsteps of the one who "did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45) In one of his books, John Haggai compares loving to an ice cream sundae. He then suggests that expressions of appreciation are to be likened to the cherry that's placed on top of the sundae. He challenges us to learn to enjoy the sundae without the cherry and to treat the cherry as a little something extra. We fulfill our purpose as Christians when we engage in loving deed of kindness. If someone likes it and says so, we get a bonus, but our performance of service should not be contingent on receiving the "cherry on our sundae."

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